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My own mother never delivered these kinds of colorful rebuttals, admittedly - in part because she could cow me with a single threatening word, and in part because if she accidentally said anything too amusing, she’d laugh at it and struggle to regain composure.
Nothing worse than someone really funny who isn’t easily amused. My grandma was apparently like that, could cut you to ribbons and not even smirk. Never even knew her but I still feel the aftereffects.