It’s all I can offer the world, so you are welcome friend

A healthy combination of stubborn tenacity and pathetic laziness really.

A YouTuber reminded me that in the 80’s we were all told we would die in a firey radioactive blast from Russia or slowly for starvation as the smoke from millions of city sized fires chokes the sun out of photosynthesis entirely, so…. Stil planning on one of those.

Maybe your pussy god does. My god has a big cock and huge muscles, that glisten as he sweats and smites the brown people and leaves earth to be ruled by normal American people. My god ain’t binary or notbinary. He is straightnary and fucks every hot bitch he sees. He doesnt transcend anything but he straightcends your sissy punk ass all they way to the bank where he worships the real god. Money

(Please don’t take me seriously)

So when beds were held up with rope to support a sack of hay, a newly married couple would come to their honeymoon location and find their bed has be untied by family during the wedding. They would literally have to tie the knot to get into bed.

Hit the hay, and hit the sack used to involve whacking your hay with a detachable bedpost spire to knock the bugs living in it down to a bowl of oil under your bed.

Bonus: honeymoon got its name from the tradition of the bride eating honey for the first month of marriage to increase chances of conception.