You’re 100% right that respect should be a two-way street. I said “should” be. It often is not. Especially when it comes to systems like fair compensation, time, and effort. No argument there. If a company or a boss is disrespecting your time and well-being, that needs to be addressed, period.
What I was trying to explore in my story is a different layer. Something personal and internal. Though respect should be a two way street, it is still a street worth walking alone. That even in imperfect systems, even when others don’t “earn” your respect or see your effort, there’s still a kind of power in choosing to show up with integrity. Not because they deserve it, but because you do.
Choosing to be reliable, communicative, and accountable, even when others aren’t, helps shape who you are. It builds character, trustworthiness, and personal dignity. It teaches you to lead yourself. That’s the kind of respect no one can take from you, even when the outer rewards aren’t there yet.
It’s not about obedience. It’s about owning your path.
It transforms your mind and, in turn, your life. It is a path worth walking.
Thanks again for engaging with the nuance. I really value conversations like this.
… Are you serious? You should respect people who don’t respect you in turn because it “builds character”?
No, that guy in your story had it right. If this is representative of the culture you work in, I’d do the absolute bare minimum too. This is such blatant ‘hard work’ propaganda it’s actually kind of nauseating. Holy shit, take a step back and realize you’re helping your team get taken advantage of, and guilt-tripping them when they don’t comply with your corporate masters. You’ve progressed way beyond drinking the kool-aid, now you’re one of the guys holding the children hostage to get their parents to drink it.
I can feel how strongly you feel about this, and I get it. A lot of people have been burned by workplaces where “teamwork” is just code for giving more while getting less. That kind of exploitation needs to be called out. People have every right to protect their time and energy in those environments. I support that fully.
But that’s not what happened here.
In this story, I wasn’t defending a corporation. I wasn’t demanding loyalty to a job. I was calling someone up to a standard I hold for myself and offer to my team, not out of obedience, but out of integrity. I’ve never talked down to this guy. I’ve treated him with patience, honesty, and consistency. I’ve modeled the values I believe in and asked him to rise, not for the company, but for his own sake. Because that’s what respect actually looks like in action.
You called me “the fucking problem,” accused me of guilt-tripping people, and painted me as some kind of corporate enforcer. That’s not just inaccurate. It’s unfair. And I’m going to push back on it.
Not out of ego. Not out of anger. But out of self-respect.
I believe we should challenge broken systems and still choose who we want to be in the middle of them. I believe in calling people higher, not because they owe it to a job, but because they owe it to themselves. And I believe that treating people with dignity, even when they lash out, is still worth doing.
So no, I’m not going to return the insult. But I am going to stand up for myself. Because this, right here, is what it looks like to respond with strength, not submission. With clarity, not cruelty.
You don’t have to agree with my take, but I hope this helps clarify it.
You’re 100% right that respect should be a two-way street. I said “should” be. It often is not. Especially when it comes to systems like fair compensation, time, and effort. No argument there. If a company or a boss is disrespecting your time and well-being, that needs to be addressed, period.
What I was trying to explore in my story is a different layer. Something personal and internal. Though respect should be a two way street, it is still a street worth walking alone. That even in imperfect systems, even when others don’t “earn” your respect or see your effort, there’s still a kind of power in choosing to show up with integrity. Not because they deserve it, but because you do.
Choosing to be reliable, communicative, and accountable, even when others aren’t, helps shape who you are. It builds character, trustworthiness, and personal dignity. It teaches you to lead yourself. That’s the kind of respect no one can take from you, even when the outer rewards aren’t there yet.
It’s not about obedience. It’s about owning your path.
It transforms your mind and, in turn, your life. It is a path worth walking.
Thanks again for engaging with the nuance. I really value conversations like this.
… Are you serious? You should respect people who don’t respect you in turn because it “builds character”?
No, that guy in your story had it right. If this is representative of the culture you work in, I’d do the absolute bare minimum too. This is such blatant ‘hard work’ propaganda it’s actually kind of nauseating. Holy shit, take a step back and realize you’re helping your team get taken advantage of, and guilt-tripping them when they don’t comply with your corporate masters. You’ve progressed way beyond drinking the kool-aid, now you’re one of the guys holding the children hostage to get their parents to drink it.
Fuck’s sake, you’re the problem in that story.
I can feel how strongly you feel about this, and I get it. A lot of people have been burned by workplaces where “teamwork” is just code for giving more while getting less. That kind of exploitation needs to be called out. People have every right to protect their time and energy in those environments. I support that fully.
But that’s not what happened here.
In this story, I wasn’t defending a corporation. I wasn’t demanding loyalty to a job. I was calling someone up to a standard I hold for myself and offer to my team, not out of obedience, but out of integrity. I’ve never talked down to this guy. I’ve treated him with patience, honesty, and consistency. I’ve modeled the values I believe in and asked him to rise, not for the company, but for his own sake. Because that’s what respect actually looks like in action.
You called me “the fucking problem,” accused me of guilt-tripping people, and painted me as some kind of corporate enforcer. That’s not just inaccurate. It’s unfair. And I’m going to push back on it.
Not out of ego. Not out of anger. But out of self-respect.
I believe we should challenge broken systems and still choose who we want to be in the middle of them. I believe in calling people higher, not because they owe it to a job, but because they owe it to themselves. And I believe that treating people with dignity, even when they lash out, is still worth doing.
So no, I’m not going to return the insult. But I am going to stand up for myself. Because this, right here, is what it looks like to respond with strength, not submission. With clarity, not cruelty.
You don’t have to agree with my take, but I hope this helps clarify it.