• Zink@programming.dev
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    1 day ago

    Yeah of course, it is by definition coping. Zero disagreement from me. But from my perspective of trying to find practical ways to achieve a fulfilling existence, good coping strategies can be a very positive thing. Bad shit will always be there, and we all have our own unique collections of it and unique internal reactions to it.

    And the spirit of this from me is to encourage others to explore what’s possible, not to say “you should X.” We all have unique minds going through unique life experiences, so it would be silly for me to try to lay out some kind of roadmap to happiness like I know you (or any other people who might read this).

    It took me several years to get my head to where it is now, and that includes ongoing medication. My goal is to help others however I can, so whether that is by providing possible techniques or just convincing them that a better existence might be possible, I will take whatever I can get. Incremental improvements are a good thing, even if tiny.

    And indeed a big part of that is to explore what restrictions and burdens we place upon ourselves. If people in way worse conditions than us are happy, and people in way better positions than us are miserable, there must be some wiggle room where we can find a better outcome given our own unique inputs.

    I found a lot of inspiration in the philosophy of the stoics and Buddhists, plus Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. That doesn’t mean I’m going to tell you to be stoic and control your emotions, because that would be some ignorant shit. But I think there’s a general idea there that’s worth encouraging others to consider, that you may be able to pilot your brain through the craziness of life in a way that suits you better.

    And like I think I said before, the “decide to be happy” platitude is important but it is only the first baby step of a long journey. Genuinely changing your emotional state is not just a simple decision, but it may be possible over an extended period of time if you are consciously working towards it and making small beneficial decisions over and over.

    If I may end with another platitude that is way easier said than done, we have to play the hand we’re dealt. Not because there’s anything good about that plan, and not because that is fair, but because that is reality. I found it difficult to find contentment with my life while also wishing my life was something else. And I know that probably sounds negative and discouraging as text on a screen, but think of it more like putting your effort towards practical improvements and not wasting your energy dwelling on things you cannot change or on the inherent unfairness of life. That includes acknowledging your privilege along with accepting your burdens.

    I hope something in there made sense to somebody!