I was doing fairly well but once I got on my PTO, I been like binge drinking every fucking day and would wake up shaking sometimes.

I probably have done irreperable harm to myself, but it doesn’t mean I need to keep damaging myself.

I don’t even know WHY I feel the need to drink as things are okay right now. Stress from losing a friend? Lingering stress from my time in the Army? Fear of the future as I plan to leave my job and get a new one? Am I just bored and fat and gay?

I wanna go into it with hope that this will be the last time I drink, but a part of me knows I’ll relapse down the line. I dunno, gamers.