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A lot of confused people in this thread wondering why they should care.
The intention is to keep eating away at the rights of anyone not straight, male, white, and Christian. All the major papers are on board with anti-trans genocide. They have been successful enough to broaden their attacks. This is the “just asking questions” phase.
And that makes her no-sexual or what?
Threesome?
So? He’s made a commitment to be with you alone. If he’s a decent man, then there’s nothing to worry about. It’s not like straight men have never cheated on their partners.
Although the fact that this subject never was broached prior to you getting hitched is somewhat concerning.
You’re all assuming that she’s angry about it.
Why would that matter? If he’s exclusively committed to you then what’s the issue?
Imho, the bisexuality wouldn’t be the issue. The fact that one partner was not aware of the sexual orientation of the married, on paper lifelong partner, is. Bisexuality, in contrast to pansexuality, has a focus on the, well … sex of the partner. The bisexual duality can not be satisfied by the binarity of one partner, leaving a lot of space for unhappiness, uncertainty and confusion, in a state where certainly might have been exspected.
Lack of communication being a problem - sure. But you’re conflating a few things.
- In modern terms, bisexuality and pansexuality are interchangeable, the terms have evolved over the years and most of the community rejects the old distinction.
- “The bisexual duality cannot be satisfied by the binarity of one partner” is the stupidest thing ive ever heard. They are bi, meaning their attraction applies to both (or more) genders. They aren’t in heat with an unquenchable lust for sex with multiple genders. Someone can have a preference for brunettes and redheads and marry a redhead and not be “unsatisfied”. The problem with closeted gay people marrying into a straight relationship is that they are denying their own sexuality, and lying to themselves. Bisexual people are not lying to themselves. They are attracted to their spouse. There is no confusion.
You mean like the sexuality of straight people can not be satisfied because there are other hotter people of the same sex as their spouse?
The bisexual duality can not be satisfied by the binarity of one partner, leaving a lot of space for unhappiness, uncertainty and confusion, in a state where certainly might have been exspected.
This is an extremely common and extremely silly take. Bi folk aren’t any more or less “satisfied” in a relationship than mono folk are. People (bi or otherwise) betray their partnership commitments all the time, but for whatever reason bisexuality seems to get conflated with infidelity / general profligacy. It’s an ugly and inaccurate stereotype.
Some reason? Come on, not that complicated if you put yourself in a normal person head.
Societally normalized biphobia?
First off people aren’t scared of the bi part just the homo one. Secondly, the stereotyping that BI people are dogs in heat come from both the gay community and the straight community. You still haven’t put a theory forward for the why just the what.
Huh? I’m bi and have been happily married for 30 years
JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!!!
Obviously the husband made a mistake, you tell them in the dating phase so the trash takes itself out instead of tricking you into believing it’s a real person.
Nothing?
“Hey I’m still attracted to you but I also find dudes hot.”
“I MUST INFORM THE WASHINGTON POST!”
Can you just tell WaPo things?
that’s…kinda how newspapers work? if they’re interesting or important enough they publish it as news.
STOP THE PRESSES!!
(Sorry, I’ve just always wanted to say that)
If the marriage is sexually exclusive, why would you care? If the marriage was open, why would you care? If you’re worried about infidelity, then what gender they might choose still seems like a trivial issue.
because its click-bait
Pretty much the stance I had with an ex-girlfriend who was bi. I didn’t care who she slept with before me or who she slept with after me, so long as she wasn’t sleeping with someone else while we were together.
Sexuality seems like a thing to have discussed before you arrange a marriage.
Its different if someone has not realized or accepted their queerness and comes out years later. But right after the honeymoon feels nasty. Its the kind of move a manipulator uses, omit telling information that could cause others to make different choices then those that align.
I’d wonder what other secrets there are.
I don’t understand what difference there is for the wife, someone please explain to me why she(or anyone!) would care about her husband being bisexual vs hetero.
The fact itself shouldn’t.
Not being open about yourself till just after marriage is what’s bothering.
Granted marriage culture has changed alot but surely the idea is still to unite with someone for hopefully the rest of their life.
If one has reservations and arent comfortable to be open about things that is valid but then work on that before devoting yourself to another.
You make it sound easy, it’s often something you are not able to understand easly you cannot just “work on that before devoting yourself” if you do not know about you being that in principle. Also, talking about is often harder than it seems (especially because bisexuals are also very judged in the LGBT community itself), i have some bisexual friends and, oh man how many times i heard them not being sure anymore if they were actually bisexual or not, some even thought they were pretending (they were not)
Of course, it’s not easy, but so is marriage.
i have a theory that actually bisexuality is the default for mammals and heterosexual relationships a common general preference. I get its confusing for some but what depends is how they personaly perceive their own attractions.
If they weren’t sure and over many years they started to question their own sexuality its a different story but thats not this one.
What changed in a honeymoons worth of time to go from “not questioning their sexuality” to “perceiving themselves as bisexual”
Let me put it this way, if my partner felt uncomfortable telling me something they struggle with. Than i would perceive that as a personal failure. Because trusting eachother to tackle life together is the whole point of the ceremony.
There’s a stigma around bisexuals, that they are promiscuous. I did not tell my ex that I was bi at all, because she and I were exclusive the whole time we were together. It was years after our divorce that I came out as trans.
I was so worried that she would have rejected me if she knew that about me. I was happy with our life we had together, and I never strayed, so why should I have to disclose that if I don’t want to?
If your partner not being 100% hetero is a dealbreaker for someone they should maybe ask about it before marriage? Although in this case it wouldn’t have helped, since the sender says her husband says he didn’t know until then (while calling him a liar). Sometimes people don’t understand their sexuality until later in life, I dunno what to tell you.
If its a dealbreaker then it feels like a red flag. Do you want to spend your life with a person that doesnt accept you fully as you are?
Youre also supposed to kinds have figured out yourself by the time of marriage. Ofc people can be stuck in the closet for years but just after the honeymoon?
I guess its possible but what events even aspired to suddenly be so sure?
Slightly related i have a theory that all mammals are biosexual by nature with a common hetero preference on top. Its well studied in animals, there are also infinite tales of life with gender separation (monks, soldiers, prison). For many hetero, its not gay if there are no women available.
I don’t really understand what the difference there would be a spouse, if their other half is het or bi. What should matter is that they chose you
It does hurt the odds though, double the chances to cheat.
This is the sort of shit I hear from fellow gays about bi people all the time. We call it biphobia.
Please rethink the math here. Consider actual human population.
Could you explain it please?
Imagine a group of 10 people. 5 men, 5 women. There’s one bisexual guy who’s in a relationship with a woman. Realistically, how many people can he cheat with?
One is plenty, I don’t think many people Mac or their free time in creating, it’s more opportunistic.
If one is plenty, it says more about the person regardless of their sexuality than it does of any sexuality itself
If the only reason you don’t cheat is because of the lack of opportunities… Then you’re not just a bad person, but you’re probably ugly as fuck as well.
Do you think such people don’t exist?
Cheaters exist, it has nothing to do with their sexuality.
I reckon aro/ace don’t cheat as much. But if you are attracted to more people then you get more chances. You could say the same of someone with low standards. It’s not a moral judgement.
Divorce your gym, hit your lawyer, and delete your Facebook because billionaires suck.
They did catch on to this and made it illegal to hit lawyers
The ‘TLC’ of journalism
Isn’t it crazy how far they fell? They’re in with Page 6 and Brightbart (or whatever it is).
The bisexuality doesn’t bother me. It’s the poor communication. Plus, now there are major trust issues.
Saying so after the wedding is a douche move. He probably should have mentioned it earlier in the relationship.
“Husband mentions he likes Nickelback after wedding”
