Not talking about being with one partner at a time. Talking about the idea of finding “the one” and being with them your whole life.

50% divorce rate. 97% of people (in the US) don’t wait till marriage, so most of us have multiple sexual partners prior to the one we stick with. Many have children with more than one partner.

How can anyone look at the world and think, yeah, there’s one that’s meant for everyone and just one?

Also hope I don’t come across disrespectful. If you do believe in monogamy, I am interested in hearing from you. I’m just buzzed and thinking about my own love life and being curt

Edit: Speaking to the idea that it’s the “natural order” or default. Not that it can’t work in individual circumstances, especially when we’ve been programmed for decades

  • Montagge@kbin.social
    3·
    1 year ago

    How so?
    If you date someone in Highschool, and then date someone in college after the highschool relationship ended how are you not monogamous?

    • DudePluto@lemm.eeOP
      12·
      1 year ago

      Oh the definition is fine, I just mean that it seems illogical to adhere to it dogmatically.

      Like, ok I’ll try to come up with the best summation but bear with me lol. Basically, let’s say you’re with your current partner. You’ve been into other people in the past. So, logically, you’ll probably be into other people - at some level - in the future, right? That seems like a natural development to me.

      So if it’s natural, why should we have the little fine print on all of our relationships that reads “If you’re into other people this contract is null and void?”

      Am I making sense? Lol. Like I just mean that it’s natural to be attracted, in some way, to more than one person so why do we default to holding ourselves and our partners to the unnatural? In that way, I’m monogamous with one person at a time seems logically inconsistent to me. It accepts the existence of plurality of attraction, yet denies its engagement

      • richieadler 🇦🇷@lemmy.myserv.one
        2·
        1 year ago

        the little fine print on all of our relationships that reads “If you’re into other people this contract is null and void?”

        How do you define “being into them”? Looking and finding them attractive, or fucking them without your partner knowing?

        • DudePluto@lemm.eeOP
          1·
          1 year ago

          Being into them is being attracted to them which, on an instinctual level, is wanting to fuck them

          Edit: simplified, obviously, you can be attracted to someone in a more emotional way but some would argue that’s still wanting to mate or partner with them in some way

          • richieadler 🇦🇷@lemmy.myserv.one
            0·
            1 year ago

            Being into them is being attracted to them which, on an instinctual level, is wanting to fuck them

            So what? As you say, is instinctual. As long as you’re not drooling and you don’t act on it, it’s not a problem. And any person demanding otherwise is toxic and not worthy of your time.

              • Jax@sh.itjust.works
                1·
                1 year ago

                Have you heard of people that are asexual, or sapiosexual?

                Beyond that, you have to understand that it’s very easy to twist numbers in a manipulative way.

                For example, it’s not 97% of people everywhere don’t wait for marriage.

                It’s 97% of the people who answered whatever survey you’re referring to don’t wait.

                Where the fuck did they get these people from? College? Nightclubs? Any religious organization?

                Statistics are not fact. They are ways of organizing data that would otherwise be overwhelming and impossible to parse.