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Minecraft can read a special DNS record type called SRV records. You can create a record like that to point Minecraft to a port that the server is running on. It doesn’t even have to have the same ip as the webserver.
This is for Namecheap, but the general principle applies everywhere: https://www.namecheap.com/support/knowledgebase/article.aspx/9765/2208/how-can-i-link-my-domain-name-to-a-minecraft-server/
Element is a messenger and will never have the UX of Discord. There is Revolt, which is actually similar to discord but self-hostable