Thedonaldgrad.

Well, I was WFH at the time and they didn’t give me anything to do so it was effectively that anyway. And really they had given me almost no work to do for the four months prior to that - which of course is why I was not even the least bit surprised by the layoff. My severance was to the penny exactly what I would have gotten from unemployment, so it effectively meant I got unemployment benefits without having to pretend to look for work. Also, they randomly sent me a check for $6K that I have no idea what for (not PTO or sick time compensation) and I used it to buy a school bus. So overall I can’t really hate them too much. Years later I found out my mother had thought I was working for Sysco (the food supply conglomerate) instead of Cisco.

I worked briefly for Cisco because they acquired my company (a much smaller competitor) to help eliminate competition. The only good thing I can say about them is they gave me (and everybody else from this smaller company) two months’ notice of the layoff and didn’t have us escorted out of the building or anything.

“… so we can be sure to avoid ever actually implementing them.”

Damn, I wish I’d thought of that back then.

I used to be a mobile developer (mainly Windows CE, Android and iOS) but once in 2010 I got put onto a project producing a TV-guide-like app for Blackberry. I was absolutely blown away by how fucking awful the developer tools were. Even during the development phase, an app had to be fully signed before it could be deployed to a device and tested and the signing servers were almost always down or operating under a severe delay. Even worse was that the framework code was divided up into umpteen billion different modules, each of which had to be separately signed, so the more modules you made use of the longer your app took to be signed (I often found myself writing custom functions that should logically have been handled by the framework, just to avoid the inclusion of one more module). Some days, even a one-line change to your code took 30 to 40 minutes to get onto your device - or else it was impossible because the signing servers were completely down. They did have emulators but they were worse than the physical devices and everything still had to be signed anyway. I just got in the habit of making hours of changes and then deploying while I went to lunch and testing everything afterwards; definitely not a programming best practice but the only way to make it work.

The built-in UI tools were horrible and there wasn’t anything that could be used for a TV guide, so I ended up having to do literally everything with Graphics primitives - although that was actually the fun part of the project. The most annoying thing was the 16-bit graphics, which probably made a bit of sense in 2003 but certainly not in 2010. And of course Blackberry was crashing and dying at that point anyway, so my work was pretty much useless.

The scroll wheel was awesome, though. It allowed for a super-precise UI controlling aspect that just isn’t possible with touchscreens.

How could you miss “MeinSpace”?

Waaaaaaaay back in my Visual Basic 5 days I used to hide easter eggs in my corporate apps. It was always just a dialog box that would pop up randomly saying something kinda funny. To keep them from being discovered by the other developers, I would put the code in some obscure file and instead of a (searchable) string variable containing the text for the popup, I would convert it to a concatenated series of CHR(ASCII#) statements, and then each line of code would start with a couple of hundred spaces, so it would only ever be seen if someone happened to open the file and also happened to notice that there was a horizontal scroll bar at the bottom. We got many bug reports about the easter eggs but nobody was ever able to locate the code that was producing them. I might have been fired for this but probably not - nobody really cared much about shit like this in 1999.

“Down” was awesome.

My favorite horseshoe crab fact is that they have like nine different types of eyes. Even that tail is basically one big eye, covered in photoreceptive cells. We love to call them “primitive” but in fact those fuckers are highly developed pieces of biotechnology, able to survive 400 million years finding food in mud.

then proceeds to recklessly dismantle huge parts of the US government

Just give him a few more weeks.

When I was young, you (supposedly) could still buy WWII-era original Jeeps disassembled and packed into crates in cosmoline. I always wanted one of those but never had any desire to own a modern one.

I’m a school bus driver - kids love the things and go apeshit whenever they see one. Fortunately, not many elementary school kids can afford one.

I read a reddit post recently by a guy who had bought one for $135K after shelling out $50K to a broker to find him one. He was wanting to sell but couldn’t get more than $70K for it lol.

I’m totally amazed that they pulled that off so well.

That’s been their MO for a long time now. In the runup to the 2000 election, Al Gore’s inarguable main strength was his championing of the Internet, such that “{whatever} superhighway” (derived from his coining of the term “Information Superhighway”) had already become a well-worn joke format. Karl Rove took Gore’s perfectly defensible - and actually 100% true - claim that he “took the initiative in creating the Internet” and through simple repetition turned it into “Al Gore claimed to have invented the Internet”, making Gore seem like a crazed person. Which helped Bush Jr. get elected and cemented the GOP’s current control over the Supreme Court.

“Where’s the kaboom? There was supposed to be an Earth-shattering kaboom!”

WW2 is more of a call of duty plot

It’s the war Tom Hanks won.

Doing a nazi salute while making the Mussolini face, no less!

the white flag stereotype for France comes from 2003

It actually comes (unfairly) from the French army mutinies of 1917 and (also unfairly) from France’s surrender to Hitler in 1940, in addition to their not joining in the fun in Iraq. All of which obscures a prior thousand-year history of kicking the shit out of people.

That laptop lol.