For the record, I am spiritual, and do pursue psychedelics for the sake of healing. As far as enjoyment goes, the only drug I use regularly is cannabis, which has genuinely positive effects on the body. I use others intermittently, on a case by case basis. Then, there’s simple curiosity, which is all encompassing when it comes to this part of me.

I also have a better argument now, which occurred in a random revelation today. Did Steve Irwin’s hobby need to be completely safe? He died doing what he enjoyed, yet nobody (except PETA) criticises him for said hobby. Do the thrill seekers, who walk between skyscrapers, who climb Mount Everest, who swim with sharks, who jump from planes, who all have the same safety precautions that I do–are they wrong for pursuing a hobby with risks associated?

…I’m more laid back. All in all, I’m not the first to have gone down this path. I certainly won’t be the last… given the planet doesn’t end within our lifetimes. None of it has kept me from my job, and paying bills, and doing chores.

I’m also merely a descendant of the hippie movement–the same movement that put human rights in the spotlight, and Martin Luther King Jr. before thousands upon thousands of people. Drugs are human rights as well, as much as that’s been forgotten.

I have no way of separating myself from the others, whose claims that they “know what they’re doing” are mostly hollow. All I can say is that Dominic Milton Trott is an inspiration, and ignoring his warnings would be doing him a great disservice. I promise to be safe.

I’m also making amends with my friends, which goes too deep and personal to explain. You aren’t wrong about me being toxic… there’s some information I’ve held back.

That sounds awfully one-sided. End-all-be-all.

Ziti’s no-nonsense. Dead simple, and great.

The manufacturer’s site.

I’m autistic and hyperfixate. I’m too invested in everything. I do a lot of reading, but not nearly as much actual doing. Research is what takes up a majority of my time.

Drugs have not disrupted my life. I come in to work every day, and I’m rarely ever drained, and it’s never been a problem if I was–it’s worth noting I don’t drink caffeine at all. What is disrupting, however, is being told I’m not an adult enough to manage myself. It’s mentally degrading, and, if anything, encourages higher use. Despite that, my use is currently at zero.

I’m working on a scheduling system to manage what days I can use specific drugs, how often they should be used, and what not to take for a safe time afterward (see DXM and MAOIs, which are extremely harmful in conjunction, and both stay in the system for a long time). This ensures sensible consumption, rather than going by feeling. I use PsychonautWiki’s Journal app to log usage and experience as well.

Yeah, this isn’t an “am I the asshole?” post. I’m also fully aware I’m neurodivergent. I avoid medication, though, for obvious reasons. I’ve found other solutions that don’t involve dependence, which is why I’m grateful to have gone on this side quest.

I’m honestly bad at arguing. It might be a reason they distrust me. I often respond progressively angrier over time, which stems from a long history of finding myself in the wrong spaces, justifying myself to people who simply do not care.

I’ve become extremely defensive because of it.

The only thing that matters is that I’m not suicidal, depressed, or even addicted–in the face of a hard life, a world bordering on collapse, and other internal issues like gender dysphoria and plurality. By all means, I’m strong as fuck, and I use that maturity to stand for people who aren’t so fortunate.

Even if they never agree, my actions will always be a better judge of character.

One of my favourite resources!

Dangerous ideology!!!

I still use CRTs on occasion.

I’m okay with people using drugs in public as long as they aren’t a nuisance. That means:

1. No smoking, vaping is fine as long as it’s low volume (try a ball vape or less strong herbs that produce minimal vapour, like damiana and salvia). I especially hate the littering from cigarettes.
2. If you choose to do psychedelics, or strong edibles, or such, you accept responsibility for your actions if you become a disturbance.
3. Just make sure it’s for a good reason, beyond just needing to be high to be in public.
4. Don’t make a habit out of it.

My first time on mushrooms was in a restaurant. I don’t think anyone noticed. I also kind of didn’t know we were going to one. I was level headed enough to be fine with it, it wasn’t a strong dose. Never again, though. If you want to do mushrooms on a nature trail, on the other hand, all the power to you.

I agree with the NSFW argument. I just wanted to be safe.

Remember to do your own research! I don’t know your underlying conditions, and I am but a stranger on the internet. Make sure you have enough information you’re satisfied with.

Kava is a depressant, same class as alcohol. It’s widely hailed as a great social drug, just as alcohol is. Dominic Milton Trott, author of the well-respected Drug User’s Bible, gave it a good review. There’s a mountain enough of evidence (and history in Asia) proving that it is a nice time. Should be more popular. I had a kava shot, but I kind of did other stuff at the same time. Couldn’t tell the effects apart… oops.

It’s consistently stated that it’s similar to alcohol, with less nausea, and no hangover. It’s even quite healthy when used in moderation.

Try actual root powder from Kona Kava Farm, a reputable manufacturer.

Devious

Literally this

I’ll actually make a followup, and reply here. Might be a while.

I agree. However, I’ve had success with legal drugs. I don’t stop at “it’s legal, and therefore worth trying”. See synthetic cannabinoids–yikes. Then there’s the whole Benadryl trend, and just… don’t. However, my criteria goes well beyond “it gets you high”. Therefore, I’ve had a great time with the vast majority of substances I’ve used. Cross referencing PsychonautWiki, The Drug User’s Bible, Erowid and Wikipedia has proven a great method. I also look into historical significance, which most would never consider. At least, from what I’ve seen.

Indeed, there are some flops, like yohimbe, but even that provided value. Few and far between. When it happens, I don’t let it get me down.

You can’t change the world if you don’t try at all. What a braindead take…

Am I doing a large volume of new drugs in a short period of time? Yes, I just turned 21. Am I doing a large volume of drugs in a short period of time, though? No. They should be worried, but they should also stop shooting me down as soon as I open my mouth. I’m adhering to even stronger safety precautions than I have in the past.

Let’s be fair to them, though. For some perspective, here’s what I’ve done recently, and people can judge whether I’m doing too much or not:

Salvia Divinorum - Snake oil. Genuinely. Legal in some places. I’m making a tier list, and this one sits in a tier exclusive to “absolute perfection”. This controversial herb has somehow become the most positive substance I’ve ever encountered. Its effect profile somehow resonates perfectly with me. It’s safe to use frequently, unlike all other psychedelics, it has a weird mechanism of action, and it has a reverse tolerance–it gets stronger with use, albeit slowly. When vaped, effects fade in minutes, meaning you’re never in for a long nightmare… until breakthrough doses. We’ll get there–and not from a lack of trying already. You can also quid the leaves for a longer duration, like psilocybin, but a little shorter, more dissociative, less visuals. Also less introspective, but it’s astonishingly uplifting. The GOAT.

7-Hydroxymitragynine - Kratom was a bit ago, but this isolated compound is safe to do in higher doses without adverse effects. I assume it does, in fact, feel like an actual opiate. It’s… great, actually. I’ve not done it in about two weeks, though. It’s a favourite now. Better than kratom, but pricey.

DXM - A friend was super enthusiastic about this one. I understood it was a drug used by desperate teenagers to get high, resulting in throwing up and being a miserable time. However, as it turns out, DXM is mixed with other ingredients that are unsafe in high doses… but DXM is actually safe by itself. Duh. Anyways, it turns out it’s ridiculously easy, at this point in time, to have a long, arguably better-than-ketamine trip, under the age of 18, LEGALLY. Go find pure tablets and syrup online, it’s astonishing how easy it is.

Damiana - This cute, yellow flowering herb is popular in the US south. When smoked, it’s a pleasant, gentle time, not unlike a low dose of cannabis. It’s also brewed into non-alcoholic drinks and teas. Why do people even smoke tobacco anymore, when this has existed for ages? I honestly can’t wait until nicotine earns the Schedule I status it deserves.

Kava Kava - I haven’t ordered any, outside of a liquid shot. It reads like objectively safer and better alcohol. If it’s that good, fuck alcohol. It seems like it is.

Nitrites - Look, the gay drug! This one’s a bit hit or miss, but I’ve found out how to use them. Poppers are safer than mushrooms, as it would turn out. They’re okay.

Nitrous - From whipped cream. No noteworthy effects to speak of, and I’m not buying a whole setup to just try it once. Too much bodily harm, for what it’s worth. Fail.

LSA, Hawaiian Baby Woodrose Seeds - Utter failure. I tried for effects three different times, following instructions, and had no luck. Seeds not treated, from a widely trusted source. Oh well…

And here’s the roadmap, two weeks from now, and well beyond:

Ayahuasca - God help us all.

Changa - God help us all 2, electric boogaloo.

No, actually. Ayahuasca is an attempt at many things. I’m a therian, which is my form of spirituality, and I’d like to explore it. I have aphantasia, an inability to imagine, which is really degrading me, and I’m hoping it might be a cure. Then there’s my germophobia and ARFID, which I hope it helps with as others have. Changa is simply a harder-to-make and shorter form. A little more recreational than the absolute summit that is Ayahuasca. I dare not use a lower case name–She demands and deserves respect.

Wild Dagga - A most beautiful plant. It looks visually interesting, with a bright orange pop, and is named Lion’s Tail for its shape. I got an extract that I intend to use to supplement and potentiate cannabis with. It’s good by itself, though.

Kanna - Sometimes called “nature’s MDMA”. We’ll see about that.

Blue Lotus - Don’t know what to expect. It’s an important staple in Egyptian history.

Mugwort - This one’s an oneirogen. It potentiates lucid dreaming, which was something I tried a long time ago, and failed. Maybe this time. Could even help with aphantasia?

Ketamine - Either safer or more dangerous, better or worse, than DXM. I just want to compare apples to apples. Not in a rush, though.

Opium - Scary, but I know what I’m doing.

Mescaline/2C-B - Kind of interchangeable. Mescaline is proving to be a sourcing option, as far as legal options goes. I also just can’t find out how to work with peyote.

THCP - It’s the first specific THC compound I’ve specifically sought out, and I’ll be using it to hopefully make vape carts more viable. It’s subjectively 5-10x stronger than THC, but otherwise identical.

Amanita Muscaria - A currently legal mushroom that I can’t quite get a proper understanding of, apart from the safe dose of a single cap. Some say psychedelic, others say it’s like alcohol… I’ll be ready for anything. It’ll probably end my sober break this March.

Methaqualone - THE BIG MAN IS BACK! Where the hell do I find this one, and why is The Big Man so enthusiastic about it? Hypnotic sedative? Yay, I get sleepy? Apparently popular in South Africa, and I’ve wanted to visit. Hmm…

So I’ve done a lot of reading, and I feel like I’ve proven I know what I’m doing, even though this is my current primary interest.

Not an addict. I’m currently on a break, in fact.

I would leave as well, especially if they ignored my concerns, but I’ve never even touched cocaine. I asked once, and was declined. Not interested these days. I’m honestly not the “party hard” type, either. I know a friend (online) who does pretty wild drug combinations, but I’ve always stayed away from that. I honestly don’t judge them, though. They’re a good person, and it’s their life.

I’ve actually slipped up exactly once. I used 5-HTP (a single capsule) after using DXM, and it’s an OTC dietary supplement that I’d hoped would help with any hangover effects that manifested. It was suggested multiple times on certain forums, and it’s also used to help with MDMA. Clearly, I didn’t do enough research, though, because DXM stays in the system far longer than I had realised, and it doesn’t like other serotonergics… which 5-HTP is. Serotonin is also known as 5-HT. The thing is, I didn’t realise DXM was strongly serotonergic, and no guides I found stated so clearly enough for me to realise, so… oops. MDMA is also serotonergic, but it leaves the system a lot faster, apparently.

The DXM hangover isn’t even bad. Alcohol is much worse. Pointless risk, so my bad.

Still, I’ve seen some instances of my friends go pretty overboard, which I can honestly say I’ve never done. There exists a healthy middle ground, and that’s where I stay. Prizes don’t exist for the reckless, except possibly some joy… which you don’t need to go overboard to find, and don’t need to cut your life off early to have.

Left for it? Right for it?