My watch says I got 3.5 hours of sleep and 5682 steps last night

I think you are on to something. The first body of water spelled with an emoji. OR gulfymcgulfface dumping grounds.

I could understand “gulf of the Americas” or “gulf of North America”. Otherwise just just sell the naming rights. Every 4 yrs. Draft Kings’ gulf of get $20 free after your first bet.

I feel this way about working out in the hotel parking lot. Maybe I’ll just workout in my room. Oh look, a TV and bed.

I have 2 demands for microwaves. Have a 30sec button and start when I press it once. After 1 minute of no use, just clear the time left. Also don’t beep every 10 seconds after the timer ends. I’m drunk and I probably don’t need that food if I don’t remember. That’s more than 2, so 30 demands and I’ll stop before I hit zero left.

Welp, my foot is asleep and the automatic lights are off. Time to get up.

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Your funeral…

I used Planner in the past. Its integration with teams makes a webcam pointed at a white board a lot better.

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Ahh, my liver! My liver! Hehe hehe hehe. We’re going to be rich

Yep. That sounds like teams.

I talked to my coworker about this and he assured me that the current Teams was many years of polishing this turd. So it was way worse "back in the day*…

Why is teams so terrible? No really. It shouldn’t be this bad. I feel like ICQ, mIRC, and Roger wilco combo back in the day was better.

Do you still have to say “snoodle snoodle”?

3 day weekend for some. Not me.

I hate eating the same thing every day, but it does work.

Nuclear weapons? “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means”

Really puts me in the Christmas spirit

Maybe my wife will buy it for her boyfriend