Yeah, I can see how that’d get to you. I’d highly recommend seeing if you can get him to sit down with you and have a chat about this stuff. Based on what you’ve said, however, he does seem like a toxic person. I dunno what else to say. I’ve been on both sides of this and it sucks both ways. It sucks when you have to break off a friendship because they’re toxic and won’t address it, and it sucks when someone breaks off from you because you’re the toxic one.

The only thing I can suggest is to spend some time talking, you know? Just… try to avoid sounding confrontational or angry. That’ll potentially cause the two of you to escalate. If it doesn’t work, then I’d consider leaving him but doing so with an olive branch: that if he works on himself then you’ll be happy to be friends again, but that you need space right now because he’s dragging you down. That said, it’d leave you friendless buuuuut… you could look around and see if there are any clubs, like gardening, automotive, books, etc that you might be interested in, even if it’s just a passing interest. That might allow you to make some new friends in the meantime.

Edit: also, give him some time after you chat. If this is truly habitual then it might take some time and multiple reminders for him to “get with the program”.

Yo, chill. Some people are really bad at time estimation. Some people forget about shit. Sometimes life just happens. He may not be certain why he’s doing the things he’s doing, or he may think it’s not a big deal. Communication is important, but often neglected when it comes to male platonic relationships. If you haven’t been communicating these things, do it. And be gentle. There’s the chance that he may honestly be aware but doesn’t know why these things are happening; he just hasn’t said anything because you haven’t.

I just said no worries I’m going home to bed.

Like this right here. No. You don’t say this unless you mean it. Don’t lie to your friends, don’t lie to yourself. If it bothers you, say something.

And the most important thing about all this is to try not to be confrontational. Again, he may be aware that he’s fucking up. It may be something he’s very insecure about.

He responded with I said Wednesday it’s only Thursday stop sweating me 😂.

Like, this suggests to me that he may be aware and that it’s possibly eating him. Or maybe he meant next Wednesday.

Is I keep that shit bottled up and try and be positive around other people and I genuinely always try not to dwell on negatives and use positive intent with people as negatively is crippling.

Also, take it from someone who used to do this, this is extremely toxic to yourself; and your friend’s constant negativity isn’t healthy either. You’re both on the extremes here, it might be worth trying to help him find the good things by talking to him and pointing out the silver linings in things while asking him to let you vent when life’s eating you up.

I don’t actually use these much, but I love using them whenever I get a chance:

CRT monitors

iPod Classic

OG GameBoy

DSi XL

I actually had rockbox on the iPod but had to take it off because I’m more concerned with how it feels to use than the actual functionality; and rockbox kinda fucked it up.

Edit: I kinda unironically wish dial-up would come back, but as a novelty that ends up blowing up into an actual, community-driven internet. A) gives me fuzzy feelings for when I was a kid at my grandparents house before they ate the MAGA brainrot, and B) might force people to learn how to optimize their shitty websites or get left behind on the corpo-web.

Aw, big plushie!

Yeah, sorry, I wasn’t thinking about how that could be (miss)interpreted. But yeah, she’ll sometimes hang upside-down from the beams.

It’s going really, really well; thanks! ^^w^^

Weirdly enough, I actually care more about framerate on “pancake” (non-vr) games than I do on VR games. I can deal with 10fps in vrchat in a crowded instance. I need more like 20~30 for non-vr games.

That said, I get mentally exhausted when the framerate is <30 for an extended period of time in VRChat.

or hangs from the ceiling

I may or may not get to live that life soon. She has beams along her ceiling and likes to demonstrate that she can climb the walls and hang from the beams while in VRC.

And we’re kinda into each other.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaa

The entirety of MBV’s Loveless. Like, damn, turn that shit up and let it take you away.

Kay’s Cooking. c:

I don’t think she even understands how badly she fucks up, lmao. I think she actually believes she’s doing it right, she’s just too British.

laughs in bnc

Supposedly 0-4Ghz passband and can carry 500v. No idea what that translates to in terms of resolution/framerate, only that it’s A Lot. Biggest downside is that it’s analog.

Edit: for comparison, iirc my CRT monitor runs somewhere around 20~30Khz for a max of 1280x1024@75hz. I may be comparing apples to oranges here (I’m still learning about analog connectors, how analog video works, etc), buuuuut that suggests that a bnc connect running at its highest rated output would potentially be able to run some fairly large displays.

I may be misunderstanding what you’re saying, but it absolutely is not an obligation to remember one’s family (unless we’re specifically talking about chosen family and not bio family). I have many friends who have been disowned, kicked out, physically/emotionally/verbally abused or even raped by their biological families as a result of being gay, trans, bi, pan or something else. It would be abusive and highly immoral to force them to keep their biological family in mind when making decisions.

They have no obligation to remember the trauma inflicted on them by their family members, except, perhaps, in a legal context against said family members; but once said legal context is fulfilled, they have no obligation to continue to remember. To state otherwise is to demand that they relive their past trauma, and for what? So their tormenter(s) can continue to torment them?

No. They have no obligation to continue to allow themselves to be tormented. Nor do they have any obligation to remember their biological families.

Now, if you’re talking about chosen family, then you might be onto something, but as long as their chosen family is taken care of and does not need assistance from them, should they not honor their loved one’s desire to one day be forgotten? Should they not allow the photos, keepsakes and whatnot that document a person’s life, someone else’s life, to be destroyed once they’re no longer in use by anyone? To do otherwise would be selfish; if I am going to die and my best friend wished to not be remembered, I would allow them to go through my things and remove themselves once I had passed. After all, it is unlikely I will remember them once I’ve hit my expiration date and my things will no longer be of any use to me. If they wish to purge themselves from my mementos, then they may do so.

The only exception I can think of is if someone was exceptional in some way. The kind of person who gets a paragraph or more dedicated to their life in a history book. In that specific case I believe they should be remembered, but done so respectfully; perhaps with a pseudonym.

Damn, that sounds awesome. I’m gonna have to try that.

gasp that’s a wonderful idea! I should try that.

Basically everything. I’d be completely devastated. Unlike many of the people who’ve replied, the things I care about the most can’t be saved from a fire. My plushies, my records, my shirts, my collars, that’ll all burn or will be so smoke or water damaged that they’ll need to be replaced. And some of them can’t be replaced. I have a lot of limited edition stuff that you literally can’t replace without considerable effort.

Even if they could be replaced, that’s ignoring the emotional attachment that I have with my plushies (as well as one of my collars).

This is exactly what social media was for.

shakes cane

I 'MEMBER WHEN YOUR FACEBOOKS AND MYSPACES WERE FOR GOSSIP, CHAIN MESSAGES, STUPID JOKES AND ODDITIES. NOT LIKE TODAY’S SOCIAL MEDIAS THAT ARE TRUMP THIS, BIDEN THAT, VANCE SUCKED OFF A COUCH. THEY’RE TOO MANIPULATED AND SERIOUS.

I watched someone beat an opossum to death with a shovel as a child. They told me that’s just what you did with opossums and couldn’t understand why I was crying. It was just minding its own business and they decided they had to kill it for some reason. The sound and image is seared into my head and I’ll never get it out. I dunno if they ever got what was coming to them, but I hope they did.

I had a group of “”“friends”“” for slightly over a decade who were very abusive towards me. I was too lonely and desperate to walk away, and they knew that, so I endured the emotional abuse until they finally decided they were bored with me. I probably won’t ever fully heal from that. Last I heard the group had broken apart, but afaik that was all that happened.

At least I have better people in my life now, but the events of the latter mean I’m always on edge and just waiting for the other shoe to drop. I’m waiting for someone to pull the rug out from under me and show me they were just getting me attached so they could abuse me too.

…OwO?

If you don’t have the nerve to hold a stock for 30 years through ups, downs, crashes and rebuilds, there’s a thing called a high yield savings account that may better fit your current stage of life better and risk tolerance.

While this is usually true, I personally am discovering that I may need to liquidate all my stocks to pay for an escape plan. If the stock market crashes, that will change what I can do to escape.

younger brother

Boyfriend

Some really misandrist shit

What. Is he okay? Like, what the fuck? Is he sure he isn’t actually a transbian, lmao? Not all guys are like that, most people want stability and get anxious if you tug on your leash like that. Furthermore, you’re gonna eventually wear out your man if you’re not careful.

…I kinda totally get the thrill of being someone’s prey tho. There may or may not be VRChat groups for that kinda thing.

He might just be a super curious kid. When I was a kid I loved going into other people’s houses because I was curious and liked exploring.

…which is probably part of the reason people never invited me over.