Cats are territorial. You are relying on just luck that they will get along. You’re much better off not trying. Your cat doesn’t want a friend.

Four “add another cat” stories for you:

1. My oldest had a cat and decided to get another cat after quite some time. However, the first cat had already established the entire house as her territory. They followed all the recommendations to try to introduce a second cat, but it made no difference. Now they can’t bring themselves to give up cat #2, so they have divided their home up to keep the cats separated.

2. My second child and his fiancee had one cat. They decided to add two more. Their cats fought. When they tried to keep the new cats in a room and introduce them gradually, their old cat was so violently opposed to their presence that it tore apart the carpet under the door trying to g et at them. However, they ended up moving. Once in the new apartment, all three cats stopped fighting.

3. Many years ago, a co-worker agreed to take a third cat. There was no fighting between the cats, but one of her cats was not happy. He started peeing on every surface he could get to. If you think the cat wasn’t doing it intentionally, he straddled her toaster so he could pee into it. Cats know how to communicate their displeasure. By the time she was able to re-home the new cat, the damage was done. Apart from the small appliances she had to replace, she had to rip up the floor in her house and replace it to get rid of the smell of cat pee.

4. My wife and I added a second cat years ago, but we did it at the same time we moved into our house. There were some fights between them, but they were just because of their personality differences. The new cat was young and wanted to play, while the older cat had reached the stage of life where he wanted to see how much fat he could gain. She would attack him and chase him around and that would piss him off, but they usually got along and he got in better shape. When she got too obnoxious for him, he would chase her under the TV, and make her stay there in time-out.

So, based on my experience, the only time you can safely add a cat to your home is when you move.

I think it’s more like:

Your neighbor’s house is burning down, and they’ve been stacking dry branches, twigs, and leaves on the side of their house that faces yours, and their kids illegally turned on a hydrant to play in and never turned it off so there’s no water pressure, and you see embers floating towards your roof.

I think we’re at the stage where it’s time for Canada to get out the earth moving equipment and dig a fire break between us.

I don’t think they expect us to care, it’s more like they’re coming to the rational conclusion that we’re a lost cause and they need to protect themselves from the dumpster fire we started.

Your parents wiped your ass. There’s no reason to be embarrassed about anything.

Just say it quick, like ripping off a bandaid:

“I need to see a doctor about a hemorrhoid that won’t go away.”

It’s not even in the top 1000 worst things kids have to tell parents. If you can’t tell them about a hemorrhoid, how are you ever gonna be able to tell them about the gay prostitute you accidentally knocked unconscious, thought you killed, and then tied up in the basement after they woke up while you were trying to bury them?

If a hemorrhoid is the most embarrassing story you’ve got, you have no reason to be embarrassed.

Knowledge as well.

I want to see how they change the bulbs.

Did he get shot in the head, or was he always a moron?

Yeah, my wife (optometrist) gave me shit about cleaning my glasses with paper towels because they scratch the lenses.

I wear my glasses into the fucking ground because I have a big head and it’s difficult to find frames that fit. I’ve literally bought multiple identical frames and shifted the lenses in between and swapped parts to not have to get new frames.

I’ve never ever had to replace a lens because of damage from a paper towel. The only scratches I’ve ever gotten in lenses was from dropping my glasses and having them skid across pavement.

The only times I’ve replaced lenses was because my prescription changed or because I no longer had enough functional parts to rebuild the frame.

Having said that, when my wife had her practice, I was basically getting everything at cost, and she could bring frame reps in with their entire catalog to pick through. So, I got used to getting new frames more often (every five years or so). I also ended up with bunches of microfiber cloths, so I distributed them around to everywhere I go. I have one at work, one in my car, one at my desk at home.

So, I do things the “right” way now, but only because my personal experience led to it being easier than going to get a paper towel.

When she got disabled and we had to sell her practice, we kept a couple boxes of lens cleaner too, so we’ll probably never need any more. One large bottle seems to last about 10 years and we’ve got around a dozen. When we die, the kids will each be able to inherit a couple bottles of lens cleaner.

Imagine if the United States of America had a state that wasn’t part of America. It would be completely crazy! How could it ever make sense?

I mean, picture it: some place, say somewhere in the Pacific Ocean, maybe some independent Polynesian country, just gets made into a state. We wouldn’t be the United States of America anymore!

;-)

They care only about maintaining their own geopolitical interests.

That used to be the case. Now the US only cares about whatever Trump wants, AKA whatever Putin told him he wants.

Will prices start going down now?

Are there really people capable of understanding this who aren’t capable of understanding, for example, “tariffs increase inflation”?

In the US, the insurance should have continued until 26.

Are you sure your parents didn’t drop you and blame the insurance?

Edit: I’m assuming you’re in the US because of the lousy healthcare, but I suppose you could be in some other shithole country.

Yeah, that was my first thought too.

You’re gonna need to get those numbers up.

U.S. democracy

Your friend might be a Nazi.

Shouldn’t that be “So are we”?

To be fair, when the poem was written we were getting our asses kicked and survival was not assured.

If you look at the events of the moment, the significant part is the “not getting killed” part.

If things had gone differently, we could all be speaking English today!

They cosplay as tough guys.

No. That wouldn’t happen in a gun store.

You’d have to go to a gun show.

Edit: a gun show is like comic con, only for guns.