The family thing can be a pain, Microsoft has a lot of half baked ideas
I concur, Microsoft forced me to create a family to setup my daughter’s Minecraft account and even then I had to configure it incorrectly to add the game because it’s age rating was too high for a 5 year old and Microsoft’s own parental approval feature doesn’t override that. (I at least could change it back to being a 5 year old’s account afterwards) I need to figure out what setting I have to enable to let her do multiplayer at some point but so far she doesn’t have anyone to play with yet
I’m guessing my kids are younger than yours, but I’ve taken the approach of simply keeping a loose eye and ear on what they’re watching to make sure they’re not on too bad of content and of course limiting how much time they can spend on brainrot content. They spend most of their TV time watching PBS kids or some ripped DVDs on my Jellyfin