I was actually thinking of coming back to this and asking if you’d heard anything. Thanks for the update! Pretty weird that it’s just seemingly running like a zombie there.

I haven’t seen any of the porn communities in the three non porn instances I’ve tried here personally. So out of the big ones, world seems to already de-federated at least.

You’re right. I honestly wasn’t even thinking. Going to edit my comment now.

I think Blåhaj handled this person well over all. Even if Drag wad just 100% troll, drag wasn’t being fed in Blåhaj and had to go elsewhere. But also there was always the chance that drag is just someone on a journey or with things to sort out. Some people have completely given up on being any gender and treat it like a joke in an almost nihilistic way. But clearly there’s a line between that and an actual troll.

Either way, I wouldn’t say that it’s standard heterosexual cisgender behaviour to go as far as Drag did just for the lulz. So maybe one of these days, Drag will have an awakening and remember how no one in the community either fed drag or shunned drag when drag was confused and behaving badly.

Fake it. Smile and wave when people reveal their politics or weird shit (that we all have) that doesn’t vibe with you. Keep it shallow and surface level, like talk about music and movies and shit. Indulge in conversations about this restaurant or that brand of tea or some shit but never show them who you really are. And they won’t even notice that they don’t really know you and it’s all good being an alien. Maybe everyone does this on some level.

And I’m protecting insanely here in case you couldn’t tell (but that’s because I relate) but instead of saying “go to therapy”, I’m gonna say do yourself a favour and spend some time lurking in some mental health related communities / spaces and see if you relate to any of the things that people say there. And how much of it you relate to. And look up “autistic burnout” too.

As I say (just making double clear), I’m giving you this advice based on my own life so far. So maybe your story is different. But I related a lot to a lot of what you said here.

Based on a couple of arguments I’ve now had, they actually sound a lot like manosphere, anti woke people. Just a bit more intelligent and well read. But even the “trans ideology” phrase that they like to use is just their version of “woke agenda”.

I think that it is a sect of feminism that has been created and seeded by the same right wing christian nationalist types that are also behind the manosphere and MAGA. The Peter Thiel and Elon Musk types. They realised in the '90s that calling everything “satanic” wasn’t working, so they started coming up with new terminology to pull people in.

First it was “SJWs”, then “woke” but it all attracts the same kind of people. And “trans ideology” was the term they came up with for women that read and aren’t completely dense. So they’re all behaving like reborn christians and going around stomping out anything the norm. But they also sincerely believe they’re right.

But honestly, based on the conversations I’ve had so far, all alt right people have the same talking points, which TERFs definitely are a part of. They’re just, as I say, not as clearly dumb as other alt right types.

From what I’ve heard, admins can’t really do anything about repeat offenders / downvote trolls because of something about scanning through databases or something. But then I also saw a post yesterday about how Friendica reveals the usernames of people who upvote and downvote, so it seems like that information is accessible in the API or framework of the Fediverse.

I don’t really obsess about framerates myself and I’ve never had the kind of budget to have the latest and greatest parts but from what I’ve seen, somewhere around 30fps is fine.

And even though you didn’t ask, the last setting that I ever sacrifice is draw distance. I’ll turn down textures and shadows and reflections and everything else before I sacrifice draw distance. I don’t need realistic graphics to be able to immerse myself and have a good time. But things popping in and out of existence in front of your eyes are the ultimate immersion breaker for me.

deleted by creator

I used to go to internet cafes to look for cheats for video games. Pretty much all I ever used the internet for back then. Don’t remember many other sites but I do remember a website where you slaughtered the teletubbies in various ways, like dismembering them or slicing them in half with meat saws.

After that, my first social uses of the internet were MySpace, a forum for metal and alternative music called MakeSomeNoise (named after a magazine that came out in my country) and the chat rooms on The Offspring’s website.

I know that there’s a teenager advice community of some flavour floating around in the Blåhaj server. But I’m gonna take a guess that the only reason it’s there is because people who can’t just scroll past things were downvoting it. I have a feeling that if an instance or multiple communities for teenagers popped up, the users here would probably terrorize it until it all closed down.

Bad Religion - I Love My Computer

won’t recommend Lemmy to many of my friends or family because I know they will give up

Yeah, when I first started out here, my experience was like this:

• I went to the join Lemmy page, then clicked to show all servers. Then waited. And waited. Then I went to bed.

• By the next morning, the list of servers had managed to load. I spotted one that was advertised as “recommended for users to join to reduce load on the Fediverse”, which seemed like a good idea after seeing how even the join page was battling to load.

• Found out that the server I joined seemed to have all sorts of issues loading content. And was apparently de-federated from a bunch of instances that align with my interests. So search results were showing me little to nothing in regards to queer communities for example, only dead communities.

• Signed up on world instead and encountered multiple posts that said they had comments but loaded nothing. Found out that there were no languages selected in my settings. So I selected ‘undefined’, scrolled down, selected ‘English’, then saved.

• I was still missing a bunch of posts after that, so I went back to settings and saw that ‘undefined’ was deselected again. That’s when I realised that you have to ctrl click each language you choose or else it just deselects the previous language that you clicked on.

• Finally success! 3 or 4 days later. And now I’m here.

I would love to recommend Lemmy to the few people I know who use Reddit. But I can’t see any of them trying without just giving up and going back to the place where all you need to do is sign up and hey presto, content to look at and interact with.

I have a feeling that even the process of choosing an instance would probably put them off. I could give advice but there’s only so much I could do or explain without being there in person helping them. If they have to read walls of text explaining how to get started, it would probably end there.

I’m not sure what the solution is though, or if there even is one. It might just be a little bit like trying to recommend Linux to people who just want to be able to push a button and go. Which is the majority, based on what I’ve seen.

Also just one last thing and something that has been discussed to death. There’s just not enough content here yet for the average person to see any reason to switch over from the place with all the content.

And on that note, recommending this place to people that I know in real life would be too risky right now that they would see my account and figure out who I am. Because there isn’t a crowd of a million people to slip into and disappear here. And this isn’t Facebook. I don’t want people to know about the very personal things I sometimes say on anonymous social media.

Mulder documentaries? Like the X-Files?

Literally the opposite.

After the French Revolution, parliament was arranged so that the people who supported democracy and freedom literally sat on the left hand side; and all of the freeloading, self serving, bootlicking monarchists that wanted to return to rule by a king or queen sat on the right hand side.

Far right are that but more extreme. They don’t just lick boots but also the assholes of the politicians and billionaires that they worship like gods.

Thanks for the nice conversation, btw.

Likewise. It’s always appreciated when you can chat with someone without guards up and needing to counter snark and shit.

I’ve asked to remove them

I get this bad feeling that they’re probably just going to tell you to get lost. I wouldn’t be surprised if the moderators of those subs have okayed it. Another common thing I saw creators complaining about was dodgy Reddit moderators. The moderators of those subs aren’t their friends or allies from what I can tell. If they’re not the usual assortment on Reddit who aren’t even part of the community but like power anyway, there’s also suspected ‘agencies’ or other bad actors running some of these subs and making life hard for people.

But I applaud you for doing this. And I would be amazed if it actually worked.

In the '80s and '90s, everything these people didn’t like was ‘satanic’. Then that nonsense seemed to disappear for about a decade. Until those people returned with updated terminology that makes them look like ‘free speech’ warriors to all the kids and not the dogmatic psychos that they are.

So since then we’ve gone from SJW to woke to now DEI. But it’s always been the same fucking people, or types of people, that told me that all the cartoons I watch and music I listen to was ‘evil’ and ‘satanic’ when I was a kid.

I actually almost fell for the SJW thing myself back in the day. I was circling that drain. Until I opened my eyes and saw the company that I was in. Since then I’ve been borderline ‘SJW’ myself because fuck those people.

One thing at least is that when you search “Reddit alternatives”, most articles that I came across seemed to make out like Lemmy is the best option in terms of amount of users and not being advertised explicitly as a “free speech and censorship free platform”, which we all know really means “bigots are welcome here.” In fact when I was searching Reddit alternatives, it seemed to me that Lemmy is really the only option.

What made me leave Facebook was discovering Reddit. What made me leave Reddit was getting banned lol. What made me leave Twitter (or never actually ever bother much with it) is that it seems more like a big popularity contest than ‘social’ platform to me. Besides, if it was really social, there wouldn’t be a character limit that benefits marketing speak and hashtags more than constructive conversation.

Never saw the point of places like Instagram that are based on being able to upload photos. Big deal, you can upload photos anywhere. And the only time I use YouTube is when I’m in the mood for music videos. I have less than zero interest in watching people’s crappy home videos, it’s like reality TV but even more boring and brain rotting. And I’ve got better things to spend my time watching. Oh, and I tried TikTok but noped out very quickly. I see absolutely no value in being spoonfed content by some shady algorithm as opposed to choosing and curating your own content.

Personally, I do not care if the platform that I’m on uses my data to advertise to me. I fell in with the ‘privacy’ crowd like a decade ago and did my time shaking my fists at big brother but I just don’t care anymore. None of this is new. As long as the people on the platform are the kind of people that I could get along with, I’m fine. And quite capable of using an ad blocker if I so desire. I couldn’t care less if Reddit used my posts in the Xena or She-Ra subreddits to advertise romance fantasy novels to me. There’s more important things to focus on.

Even if it’s futile, I probably still won’t be able to keep my mouth shut about it lol. I do enough keeping my mouth shut in the real world, in a country where you have to assume that everyone you meet has conservative views until proven otherwise. So I’m not going to do that to myself online as well. It just feels wrong to me to not at least try when there’s an injustice going on because the easiest way for nothing to change is for no one to even try and change things.

And you’re right, things are at least better for amateur workers now than they were before. So that is progress. Although from what I’ve gathered, OnlyFans isn’t completely immune to dodgy shit either. I’ve come across a couple of stories involving practically human trafficking situations where women are forced into this by pimps and other pieces of shit. So you never really know what’s going on behind the scenes when the camera switches off and the put on smile goes away.

Which is why it’s also just more ethical to get this content from the content creators themselves rather than random 3rd party websites that lift content from elsewhere. At least if you’re getting it from the source, you can have some sense of whether it passes the vibe check or not.

Also, just want to add because I just thought of it. Places that set up bots that lift amateur content from around the web aren’t checking for vibes or doing their homework. So they’re the kinds of places that would be peddling pictures of abuse or trafficking victims, or even underage people, without even knowing it. Or caring.

The whole thing just gives me the creeps. I’m fine with people stealing from Brazzers or whatever because those workers have already been paid and you’re stealing from the suits that get rich off them. But amateur stuff just has too many variables and ethical concerns for me to be comfortable with people treating it the same way as Brazzers.