dumples

You don’t. We’re biological mammals and expecting that we act the same in spring, summer, fall and winter is insane. Change your expectations of yourself depending on the season.

I just ate instant ramen for the glory of the empire

Exactly. It’s really a culturally loaded term with various different meanings depending on who you ask. Something that’s chivalry to one person is infantilizing to another. It’s also almost always used as a complaint that a man isn’t doing some unknown and unexpressed expectation like you mentioned.

If you treat men as a success object don’t be surprised if he treats you like a sex object. If you are looking for someone who pays for everything that’s a wildly different (less equal) relationship.

That being said I always (I’m male) paid for the first date and continued to offer for a few more. I did look for a women who did at least offer to pay and offered to split. I think you two are being equal and you should stop stressing so much about it.

I would be cautious about talking about chivalry because it’s not a clear term. Something you might think is chivalrous another women might find totally inappropriate. So men don’t know what the term means. In my head it calls to mind King Arthur and a whole other sets of expectations and code of conduct. So unless you want me to wear your favor as I compete in the jousting tournament drop it from you vocab

You’re not a man but a chicken Boo

Doing the median instead of the mean would solve that problem. The post tax wouldn’t be as large then