your response lends me to believe that you think i have mis-assessed your intentions (“doesn’t stop at” “goes well beyond”).
i have understood. i am telling you that i have been through all of it (25 years your senior), including the negative judgments from friends and family. and while i have certainly had some (few and far between) successes, i caution you that you will not find what you are looking for. and you may be risking more than you think.
good luck.
for much of my life, i have had a similar approach as yours. i have used many of the substances in this list and also many that you have not listed.
overall, i would say that the legal stuff is legal because it sucks. legal drugs are usually a shitty high, or difficult to consume properly, or of dubious benefit… simply not worth the expense nor the effort… nor the social isolation, nor the heartache.
i am not defending your friends’ perspective. but i don’t think you will find what you are looking for (i certainly didn’t).
i find life so unsatisfying that if, when i die, the afterlife has any resemblance AT ALL to this current reality, i am going to be fucking pissed.
like, any version of occupying a physical body in some sort of 3-dimensional space and surrounded by other physical beings is just, so… ugh.
i am over it.
i have decided to call in the morning and find out what their scheduling looks like for the next couple of months, and also what prescribing looks like if we want to go that route.
those two pieces of information, and also simply making contact, will help me get my mind right about it.
this is excellent advice. my immediate response to it is, of course, to cringe and shy away. but i admit that a bit of journaling would raise my confidence level a lot.
i feel this so much.
i have a referral on the table to begin sessions with a new therapist and have been putting off making the appointment because of the tedium of “getting it all out there” only to find out months from now that (for whatever reason) it was a wasted effort.
i honestly don’t know what progress would look like. does it make sense for me to get my expectations in order before making the appointment?.. or should i just jump in?
you are describing “chemical dependence”.
addiction is more than that.
genuinely great answer. thanks.
i quit squid game 2 midway through ep5. it really was that bad.
you seem like such a great guy. 🙏
you remind me of me. you should check out the artworks of Paul Laffoley.
i grew up in a BIG mormon family.
a decade or so ago, a group of 20-ish cousins and i were sitting round the campfire at the reunion. they all discussed among themselves and decided that i am the original black-sheep of the family and they thanked me for being a strong role model for their own journey out of the truly awful mormon religion.
i am very proud of that.
… and then i walked out of the Outprocessing building and took off my beret while still in uniform and walked to my car.
i just wanted to say that what you wrote here is beautiful and it helps me clarify my thoughts. ♥️
i think it is incredibly unfair that the process of ending your own life is, in this culture, a necessarily lonely and grim affair.
according to the theory of complete bodily autonomy the option must be available, simple, painless, and ideally a joyful shared experience. but the moment you make such a desire known to others, they will try to “help” you. and i can assure you that their idea of “help” will not be pleasant for you.
so, sadly, you must tread this path alone.
philosophically, i think it offends people because it forces them to acknowledge that their own life is probably not worth preserving. we force each other to suffer through it all because no one wants to openly admit that this shit just plain-old-sucks.
these words were just what i needed this evening. thank you for sharing. 🙏
who is that cute man, please?
that’s what i was thinkin… surely single-cell eukaryote (fungi) is earlier than complex eukaryote (shark)?
calculus made easy?
well done. best philosophical/psychological post in the thread.