You seem to be ready for either mindfulness meditation or Stoic philosophy. Neither one provides a quick fix, but the benefits accumulate over time.

I’m sorry that you’re going through this. I wish you peace.

False syllogism (you speak Chinese, so you’re an asshole) or maybe premature generalization (some Chinese speakers are assholes, therefore all Chinese speakers are assholes).

There is an implicit binary choice here, so “whether” fits. Both work, although I, for one, prefer to use “whether” for binary choices and “if” for possibilities with more options. This is similar to my preference for “between” only for two things and “among” for more than two.

The phrase “I’m wondering if… can…” needs a noun or pronoun between “if” and “can”. As soon as you try to remove that (by moving it out to “The monkey who…”), the phrase stops being grammatical. We’d understand you, but it would require significant effort to parse the sentence. That seems to be what makes this sound strange, no matter what we try to do with it.

I don’t know whether other languages can do this, but English can’t.

Cunkroll!

• Omnibus
• Darknet Diaries

Your last paragraph contains the clue. What message do you genuinely believe your brother will understand from you refusing to attend his wedding? Will it do any good? Does it seem likely to change anyone’s behavior?

If yes, then don’t go. If no, then put that thought aside and reconsider whether you actually want to go, then decide based on that.

Would you enjoy it even if he didn’t care? Would you enjoy it even if he leaned against it?

If yes, why?

Perhaps trying to answer these questions would help you clarify your feeling about it.

I found that text difficult to parse, due to a relative lack of punctuation. This means that I spent my energy trying to parse the sentences and my brain struggled to engage with the meaning and significance of the text. Maybe if I tried reading it again a few more times, I’d find it easier to follow and therefore easier to understand.

Maybe it’s just as well that I never tried to read any Joyce. Or maybe if I’d tried, then I’d be better prepared for this. 🤷

Forget “affirmative voice” for a moment, since that seems to be tripping others up as well as you. Prompt Engineering suggest sounding like the LLM, asking questions with “the same voice” as the one the LLM uses to respond. Perhaps PE needs to clarify this with some examples, because calling it “affirmative voice” hasn’t seemed to make it clear enough.

I suggest asking them, then perhaps sharing what you learn for the benefit of other folks who are similarly confused.

The only interpretation that comes to my mind is avoiding “not” and “don’t”. Ask for what you want instead of what you don’t want. 🤷 That’s just a guess.

I keep mine in Bitwarden, I export that data every 3 months and store it in a Backblaze backup, I have it written on a piece of paper stored in a locked fire box in my house, and that paper scanned in my phone.

I can’t imagine not having at least one of those in 10 years and I can’t imagine all four failing in the same week.

Does that give you any helpful ideas that would work for you?

Combine with jc to process CSV files. This is how I get data into my plain text accounting system.

Do you struggle to remember the names of commands or how to use them or how you have used them in the past?

Underrated or not widely known?

I love lazygit and I’m still surprised at how many people are shocked when they see it for the first time. Not exactly a command, but a very handy text UI tool.

For more elementary tools, I can’t believe how many people know about ! and ctrl+r who don’t also know about fc and edit-and-execute-command.

I’m enjoying being told about these counterexamples, as I’m seeing even more clearly how this attitude is embedded in our shared culture.

So far, all the specific contexts people have mentioned to me in which men are being told to smile is one in which others feel entitled to the man attempting to impress them. In contexts such as dating or performing on video or working in retail, this doesn’t particularly surprise me.

I suppose another reasonable context is one in which the people asking you to smile are genuinely worried about your emotional state and want you to seem happier. By chance is it typically like that for you? (Let’s set aside for now the complex matter of whether they actually want you to feel better or they merely want to control your behavior or feel less uncomfortable themselves.)

How interesting! That makes it even less surprising.

That’s one exception that doesn’t surprise me. Do you have any sense of how often they are doing this with intentional irony compared to with genuine obliviousness?

Tell us a story of the last time you witnessed someone telling a man to smile because he would look so much better if he did.

I can’t, either. That’s why.

Think of the people who seem to do this to you. Pick the one who trust the most. Now ask them.

Which kind of “best” is your “best”?