I don’t know the answer to all your issues, however, I have seen these distros been mentioned elsewhere in similar discussions so maybe have a look and see if they fit your profile:
I have not used the ones above, I am using PopOS myself, so throwing that hat in the ring as well.
Probably an Android phone that has been degoogled or installed with another OS, is my guess.
All this computational power….on iPadOS 😵💫
Id imagine the discussion would go like “something something Linux = free something something Windows = money, hence save money by going linux” 🤓
This was me a few weeks ago and I decided to install PopOS.
They make laptops that ship with nvidia GPUs so naturally they would want their OS up to date and working with the drivers. I do tinker here and there but so far I think it’s a good set-and-forget OS.
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“Pussy cunt” sounds pretty Aussie to me, mate