You can skip this disingenuousness. You know you are expected to tip the drivers . I don’t you; maybe you like being a jerk and screwing over low-paid employees, but don’t pretend that’s not what is happening.

No! You must blue!

It sounds like he was purposely being a jerk so he could screw the drivers out of their tips, and meanwhile Dominoes made way more profit off those 10 orders than it cost them to give him one free pizza.

I definitely judge people on grammar and spelling. If you can’t be bothered to learn your native language, then I can’t be bothered to decode your shitty writing.

She should’ve just lassoed a passing moose.

I don’t think that’s true because I find strangers are a lot nicer to me when I wear a suit than they are when I wear a tshirt and jeans.

Isreal borders gaza on two sides. Why would they need to land troops?

Never get out of the boat!

Please end your process. You have ten milliseconds to comply.

Surely you’d want a dry wine with a sugary regurgitated course?

It’s pretty exciting for everyone else at the dog park too.

The classic Garage Queen (Live to Ride) brings a tear to my eye, and Shiny Side Up! is always a crowd favorite.

Erection

Just want to tell you both good luck. We’re all counting on you.

They’re big pants people.

I read that in Andy Rooney’s voice.

120 options should be enough for anyone.

No one is stopping you from putting bacon in your cereal.

I know this is semantics, but because most people are vaccinated and the virus isn’t spreading uncontrolled, it’s not an epidemic/pandemic any longer; it’s just endemic. You should still wash your hands and wear a mask if you’re sick or around sick people, but covid isn’t a daily problem for most people now.