I’m a Satanist, but I fuck with based Jesus.

Hope y’all like avant garde blackened death jazz.

The cats right eye is wigging me out.

Bullshit, that’s some shwag. Hit me up, I got that cage free.

I honestly don’t think most Christians even think this deeply about their own faith.

After hurricane Helene we didn’t have electricity for 6 days. But I’ve been completely powerless for 34 years.

The farther left I lean, the less tolerant I become.

More often than not when I mention Lemmy to someone, it’s after they’ve told me about something they saw on reddit and their reply is invariably, “what the fuck is Lemmy?”

Where there’s a hole, there’s a goal vole.

Not fantastic. The kids started daycare and brought home some illness that I caught immediately. I called off work a couple days and they want documentation of some sort, as if I can afford a visit to the doctor with no insurance. On the other hand, I did land an interview for a much better job, so I remain hopeful.

I fear my tears might stain my petticoat.

Are you insinuating that I’m a baby because I believe that mothers and fathers both deserve the same level of accomodation in regards to caring for their children in public spaces? I sure hope that’s not what you’re insinuating, because that would make you a cunt. You don’t want to be a cunt, do you?

I’ve been known to go into the women’s room to change a diaper when the men’s room doesn’t have a changing table. It doesn’t happen often, but it’s supremely irritating to me as a dad.

spin spin

Hail Beakman!

Januaries?

Counterpoint: yes.

Annoying sounds should be the least of your worries about Roblox. That game is a cess pool of porn and Nazi shit. My kids aren’t allowed to know it exists, let alone play it.