She told me she didn’t want to hire me but was outvoted. That she really stuck her neck out for me by even letting me come on.

She never trained me to do my job. Just handed me the manuals, told me to read them, then expected near perfection. Never provided any real guidance. Never actually assigned more than a couple tasks to me, then nagged me because I wasn’t doing enough. She made me feel singled out. Like nobody else in the office liked me either.

My dog died in March of '19. I barely got any empathy from her. I turned in my two weeks in early May. I was one more write up from being fired anyway. When I handed her my resignation letter, she looked at me and said, “Are you sure?” I meant to say, “Are you fucking really asking me that?” Instead, I just coldly said, “Yes.” Turned my back, and walked out of her office. I kept my head down for the next couple weeks, collected my last paycheck, and rapid fired applications for the next few months.

Fuck you Sarah. I hope you lose your car keys just badly enough that your morning takes an extra fifteen minutes every day for the rest of your life.

Look, it’s not “all you can eat.” It’s "all you can eat."

“You” is not the subject noun, it’s “all.” You refers to the group of people. The buffet is open to the public, and any paying member of the public may eat. Your honor, the phrase has been misinterpreted all along. It was never about allowing any one person to eat until they no longer can, but about allowing any paying customer to eat the food offered at the buffet.

I rest my case.

Whoa, that’s a double nostalgia, all the way. Oh my god, whooo!!

“What’s wrong, Doc?”

“Here’s your problem. She doesn’t have any toppings. No relish. No chili. Nothing. It’s no surprise she didn’t last a minute in Flavortown.”

“Damn it! I’ve been a fool!”

Once all of the fuller bottles are depleted, we’re gonna see some exponential growth in the bottle population.

If I don’t have a long enough stretch of time to do it all at once, I ain’t starting it.

But seriously, getting medicated has done wonders for being able to start multi-day projects. I’m learning VBA right now because I want to automate some of my processes at work. I’m finally cool with starting something I can’t finish today. Generally, I want my code to do some fairly specific and complex things. So I’m happy to spend a few hours tweaking a block to make it do exactly what I want, and it feels so good when it works as expected. But before getting on meds? Nah, I wouldn’t even entertain the idea because I wouldn’t know where to start. Medicine helps me draw up an outline of what I want to do with my code, then achieve those tasks bit by bit.

And that’s applied across everything I do. It’s okay to not finish today. But it’s important to start.

Wait until you try bacon grease. Y’all are in for a real treat.

I use Debian. Does this mean I’m in the top 0.05% of Steam users?

I can put my life in danger. I can put your life in danger. But I draw the line when you put my life in danger.

Watch out. That’s how you create a Slackware user.

This is Astrid. About 1 year old. She always acts so neglected when we go out. Believe me, I spend multiple hours a night cuddling this one.

She just wants to lick my face.

Next up is Sherlock. He’s about 2½ years old. He has his Urban Canine Good Citizen making him a certified good boy.

This is Izzy. She’s just shy of 9 years old. We have had her since she was 4 weeks old. She’s running a little chunky, but she’s also extremely fluffy.

And finally, Thorin. He just turned 12. He was my wife’s cat before we met. He’s all the love of a dog with all the craziness of an orange cat. He doesn’t understand or respect the concept of “no.” He is a bottomless pit for attention. He knows how to open the blinds.

My cats are on automatic feeders. So when the time change happened in fall, I didn’t adjust those clocks. As far as they were concerned, they got fed on time.

Now that the time changed back, those clocks are right again lol

Good drivers miss their exit sometimes. Bad drivers never miss their exit. Pat yourself on the back knowing you’re on of the good ones.

I once missed my exit in the middle of nowhere and had to drive an extra 20 miles until I reached the next exit so I could turn around, go back those 20 miles, and take the right exit lol

Or my guacamole 30 seconds after I scoop it onto my plate.

Blue has always been a favorite of mine, but purple has really grown on me lately. Naturally, I love bluish purples.

Once you figure out that purple doesn’t actually exist it’s even neater. Purple and magenta are colors your brain makes up when it sees red and blue light at the same time.

Yesterday, I ate two eggs for breakfast, water for lunch, and chow mein, kung pao chicken, broccoli beef, two nutri grain bars, twenty-seven gummy bears, and a small milkshake for dinner.

My father in law (age 78) just got a new phone. His last phone cost $100 new, was only a year old, and took actual seconds to respond to most things. It finally got stuck boot looping to recovery mode so I lent him my old OnePlus 7T to use because we were gonna get him a new one for his birthday, but he just went ahead and bought a new (used) Samsung for $200.

The Samsung is actually a pretty decent phone, but he refuses to learn how to use it. He badly wanted to use his old phone, but it won’t work anymore. He made me put the SIM card in his old phone. I told him he’s free to use that old thing, but I won’t be helping him with it anymore.

He is finally learning how to use his new phone a month after getting it. The man refuses to shell out for a half decent phone, despite having the money to. He’d rather spend $150 every 18 months buying a new crap phone than spend $400 on one that could easily last 5 years.

He doesn’t even need a smart phone. He doesn’t understand what a launcher is. So he downloads whatever crapware is advertised to him, then gets really confused why his home screen is all fucky. I’ve told him he should really consider getting a flip phone and using a laptop for anything else. He doesn’t want to. He wants a smart phone.

I can’t save this man. My parents are in their mid 50s and have finally caught up. 20 years ago, I was telling them they do not need the crapware DVD that came with the digital camera to import their pictures. All you need to do is put the SD card in the computer and copy the DCIM folder to the Pictures folder on the computer, then delete everything in the SD card’s DCIM folder to free up space.

Since I don’t use Windows anymore, I don’t answer Windows questions anymore lol If anyone calls with a Windows question these days, I just nope outta that.

I told my wife we’re going on an extended vacation in Kenya Tanzania. She sounds stoked.

In case you don’t know the song