• Have you heard of Swiss cheese? Here’s a song that tells you all about it. (This was my only line from a play in the 1st grade. I’m 50 now.)

• You can’t handle the truth! (I know that whole monologue by Colonel Jessep.)

• my old Wells Fargo checking account number from 20+ years ago

• my student ID number from my first university 20+ years ago

I pledge allegiance, to the flag…

Mercury Venus Earth Mars Jupiter Saturn Uranus Neptune Pluto.

I was kind of a space cadet, so I never learned the planets by mnemonic, just by remembering their names.

Now Pluto’s been demoted (but not in my heart 💔), and I never actually need to refer to my list of planets anyway :\

I bomb atomically Socrates’ philosophies and hypotheses Can’t define how I be dropping these mockeries Lyrically perform armed robbery Flee with the lottery, possibly they spotted me Battle-scarred Shogun, explosion when my pen hits

Tremendous, ultraviolet shine blind forensics I inspect you, through the future see millennium Killer Bees sold fifty gold, sixty platinum Shackling the masses with drastic rap tactics Graphic displays melt the steel like blacksmiths Black Wu jackets Queen B’s ease the guns in Rumble with patrolmen, tear gas laced the function Heads by the score take flight incite a war Chicks hit the floor, die hard fans demand more Behold the bold soldier, control the globe slowly Proceeds to blow, swinging swords like Shinobi Stomp grounds and pound footprints in solid rock Wu got it locked, performing live on your hottest block

1€ is 6,55957 french francs

It was not even useful in 2000 to 2005 when people needed to calculate the conversion, because I was just a kid, but my mom made me remember this for some reason

My parents now defunct landline number.

After learning the phonetic alphabet I thought it would help when I’m spelling out my last name to people to say ‘let me spell it out phonetically’. Most of the time I get a blank stare and then they have me repeat each letter, many of which sound similar.

4 8 15 16 23 42

In Australia there is a reading and writing hotline to help you lean English.

I don’t live there but I still remember the number. 1300 655 506

And they ask you how are you, and you just have to say that you’re fine when you’re not really fine, but you just can’t get into it because they would never understand.

I’m still waiting for an appropriate moment to say it aloud.

All the lyrics to Weird Al’s “Hardware Store”

One dull day, in the middle of the night, Two dead boys got up to fight. Back to back they faced each other, drew their swords and shot each other. A deaf policeman heard the noise and went and shot those two dead boys. If you don’t believe my lie is true, ask the blind man, he saw it too.

Ladies and gentlemen,

Hobos and tramps,

Crosseyed mosquitoes

And bowlegged ants:

I come before you to stand behind you

To tell you something I know nothing about.

The price is free, so pay at the door.

There are plenty of seats, so sit on the floor.

One bright morning in the middle of the night

Two dead boys got into a fight.

Back to back they faced each other,

Took out their swords and shot one another.

A deaf policeman heard the noise

And came and killed the two dead boys.

If you don’t believe me, ask the blind man;

He saw everything.

Memorized while bored in elementary school

The number of the mail truck that delivered mail to my house up until I was age ~6. It was useless then and certainly useless now.

The words to “The going to bed book” by Sandra Boynton. I’ve read it to my son at night since the day he was born. It didn’t take long until my wife and I no longer needed the book.

Also, all of the U.S. states in alphabetical order set to a tune. That came from some cassette tape that my mother used to play to us (she was a school teacher.)