Who hurt you as a child?

  • fubo@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    My guesses:

    • Intoxication: They’re drunk or high enough that they’re not neurologically capable of aiming; the fact that they managed to get it out of their pants at all is astonishing.
    • Narcissism: They’re very important assistant sales managers, talking on their phone through the whole transaction, and aren’t paying attention to what they’re peeing on; just as they don’t remove their dirty dishes from the office meeting rooms after a lunch meeting. Aren’t the help supposed to do that?
    • Helplessness and/or disgust: The toilet was already filthy when they came in, and they didn’t think they were making it any worse.
    • Peevishness: They got yelled at by a scary janitor once for sticking gum under desks.
    • Boggy@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      Don’t forget fragile masculinity and not wanting to sit down to piss because that’s how women do it.

      • morgan423@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        Oh, you’ve got a behavior there, but the wrong motivation.

        I sit at home, but I don’t sit on public toilets precisely because dudes have been whizzing all over the seat.

      • mannycalavera@feddit.uk
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        2 years ago

        Ahhh you’re trying to culture war this when the actual reason is way more sensible and boring than that. Why sit on a potentially dirty toilet seat when you don’t have to? Why even squat above it when you don’t have to? It’s laziness / efficiency, dear, not… 🤣🤣🙄… fragile masculinity.

      • evatronic@lemm.ee
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        2 years ago

        Fuck that, I love sitting down to piss. It’s like a free break AND I get to let the boys out for a few minutes?

        The only times I won’t are when the bathroom is already filthy, or the toilet water is too high and my junk goes for a dunk if I sit.

        • Boggy@lemmy.world
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          2 years ago

          You either have an annoying plumbing problem or a massive piss lizard. I guess both is possible too.

    • Odusei@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      You’re forgetting misfires can happen soon after ejaculation (and probably other things).

  • MonkRome@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    Related question, why the fuck do some people feel it necessary to grunt, moan, pant, and otherwise loudly vocalize while shitting? Zero people want to hear you, shut the fuck up, you are gross.

    • Lexam@lemmy.ca
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      2 years ago

      May you be lucky enough to never find out why. Those are not voluntary sounds.

      • Perfide@reddthat.com
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        2 years ago

        I still don’t buy it. I’ve had shits where I feel like I’m about to pop a blood vessel and still don’t feel a need to vocalize it. My brother has severe IBS and shitting is basically torture for him the way he tells it, still never hear any yelling coming from the bathroom.

    • Anissem@lemmy.ml
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      2 years ago

      My guess is humans all have different digestive experiences. I never understood magazines and reading on the shitter. I’m in and out under a few minutes, while I take it some don’t have as flowing of a digestive track?

  • Jack_of_all_derps@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    I did a practicum in a federal prison for a year and somehow my supervisor and I got onto the topic of bathroom use (probably just talking about the reality of incarcerated live). I’ll never forget it because it was such a candid moment for him when he said: real thugs sit. Nothing else added, just let it be said like that. People that don’t clean up after themselves definitely grinds my gears.

    • Steeve@lemmy.ca
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      2 years ago

      Or just fuckin lift it before you start spraying your pathetic dehydrated weak prostate stream everywhere.

  • jcit878@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    true story. my son has a bit of a phobia for public toilets and one day I was out with him and his sister in the city, riding ferry etc. I could see around lunchtime he needed to go, but he refused as he usually does. after lunch it was obvious he really needed to go and wouldn’t make it back home in time (1.5 hour train ride plus time to get back to the station). there was a nicish public toilet at Manly Beach and I walked him in, he had agreed to try as he was clearly desperate.

    but he decided no he couldn’t go.

    so we catch the ferry back to Sydney. again I asked to take him into the toilet as it was quite nice, but he refused. as we got to the train station, there was no excuse. he was bursting. had to go and had no choice. took him into the toilet. it was without a doubt, handsdown, the worst I had EVER been into. there was shit in the floors, smeared on walls, on the frikken toilet seats. piss everywhere. he had no choice. thankfully there was toilet paper.

    I cleaned the seat as best as I could with toilet paper. he went.

    we disinfected the shit out of both ourselves when we finally got home.

    As for OPs question, some people are just plain animals

    • Subverb@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      Worst I ever saw was a porta-potty on China Beach in San Francisco.

      My wife was the one that couldn’t wait any longer. I went in there and spent 10 of the most vile minutes of my life arranging to make it usable. I won’t try to describe it other than to say it was overflowing with solids and looked as though it had been on its side at some point.

      To this day my wife uses that as the benchmark of what a good husband does for their wife. If she has a girl friend that thinks their boyfriend or husband loves them she’ll say “Yes, but would he do this…” and tells that story

  • TimoBRL@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    As men get older, it becomes more challenging to initiate urination. As a result, the distance the urine stream travels at the beginning becomes unpredictable.

    On the other hand, towards the end of urination, the stream becomes weaker and may cause post-dribbling. This also increases the chances of hitting the toilet seat.

    Failing to clean the toilet seat afterward is simply pure rudeness though.

  • ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    2 years ago

    Are we entirely sure no women are squatting and also creating this problem? Because I have witnessed exactly that phoenomenon occur in a bathroom before while attending the restroom with previous partners.

    • OceanSoap@lemmy.ml
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      2 years ago

      Yeah, women’s restroom have piss on the seats, too. They squat to pee, and there is no aim.

      Turns out, both women and men can be gross and not clean up after themselves

  • Big P@feddit.uk
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    2 years ago

    Can we not bring over these ranty non-questions from reddit please

  • JoeKrogan@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    Also wash your hands afterwards! The pandemic should have highlighted the importance of basic hygiene.

    • Takatakatakatakatak@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      2 years ago

      The pandemic taught me that 90% of public restrooms will leave my hands dirtier than when I started, and risk further infection than if I just go in, piss, don’t touch anything and then front kick that door open.

        • Takatakatakatakatak@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          2 years ago

          Who the FUCK is out there shitting in public restrooms? Obviously you don’t leave the house in the morning before you shit and then shower, in that order. Only an insane person takes a dump in a public restroom.

          • arefx@lemmy.ml
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            2 years ago

            I’m a contractor and work in other people’s homes and sometimes you just get that bubble in the gut when you least expect it and gotta run to the nearest Wendys so you don’t gas out your entire clients house, okay?

  • Alec@lemmy.ml
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    2 years ago

    I’ve thought about this more than I’m willing to admit. My theory is that men are scratching their bits while urinating and it causes excessive splatter. 😷

  • C4d@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    Some men will be experiencing problems such as “hesitation” (they step up to wee but nothing happens for a few seconds), a poorer stream than they’re used to and “terminal dribbling” (they think they’ve finished but quite a few drops of urine continue to dribble out - in addition to hitting the toilet seat it might drip into their underwear when they put their penis away). They might even have problems with needing to go very often or all of a sudden.

    Symptoms like these can mean that there’s a problem with urine being able to flow out of the bladder easily. One thing that can cause this would be a problem with the bladder, but it could also be a problem with the prostate. You don’t have to be super old for this to start happening.

    Regardless it is worth getting symptoms like this checked out with a doctor and making sure it’s not something serious; even if it isn’t, there might be treatment that can help with the symptoms.

    Should still wipe the seat when done, or have a tissue handy to catch the drops before they get anywhere.

    • mintbeer@lemm.ee
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      2 years ago

      If you encounter the said ‘hesitation’, do some calculation. Solve 3x-4=12 in your head. Flow starts immediately. You can thank me later

  • HeavenAndHell@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    It’s not just public restrooms. I work in an SMALL ALL office building where 75% of the workers are remote and the people who don’t are not low-paid workers and STILL men piss everywhere in the bathroom here too. It’s insane how stupid and selfish our society is.