Ok, I’ll bite.

in what world is a comment making a joke about how this sweater would make a good gift for someone who’s nursing objectification/sexist/misogynistic…?

I never said making a joke like that is any of those things. In fact, I explicitly said I didn’t think they had malicious intent. I said I’m sick of reading people talk about women’s bodies. I said it adds to an undercurrent of those things. If there was no underlying misogyny maybe it wouldn’t be so bothersome to see talk about random women’s bodies, but we are where we are. If you’re going to bother commenting instead of just downvoting and moving on, please at least read my comment.

Getting a friend a nursing bra is a normal thing to do

Maybe we live in very different places, but this is not in my experience a normal thing to do. Maybe a gift card to a store that sells them, but generally most people don’t know their friends maternity bra size, and even if they did, all manufacturers are slightly different regarding size and comfort and people would have to know the exact fit and clasp style they would want. I don’t know you. Maybe you are surrounded by a bunch of pregnant women and have bought them all nursing bras, but this does not seem like a statement someone familiar with women, pregnant women, or bras in general would make.

You don’t know OP nor their relationship with their coworkers.

You’re right, I don’t know their relationship, but I wasn’t commenting on it here. I said that reading about someone doing that to a coworker is gross to me. It’s maybe not gross to you, or their coworker, but I did not say anything about how their particular coworker would feel about it here. Again, please read the comment you’re responding to.

downvoted into oblivion on probably the most progressive online community I’ve ever participated in

That says more about you and less about me than you’re implying. A meme community on a site that’s 80% men, sure sounds like a bastion of progressivism to me. Please see this fun comment chain from right here in this safe space of peace and love where someone just responds to me with sexual harassment, admits to knowing it was sexual harassment and then just doubles down only to have their comments upvoted: https://lemmy.world/comment/26712143

I legitimately do not care about about upvotes or downvotes, but if I were to, I would note that I do have a few upvotes but not one comment in agreement. Geez, I wonder why no one would want to comment. Would it be because publicly stating these opinions gets you publicly and privately harassed? Would it be because it’s safer to stay silent?

The weirdest thing to me is that there is a button conveniently located right next to my username that people could use as a disagree button, but plenty have instead decided to spend their time writing comments that don’t even attempt to address my point and just have been rude or hateful.

Based on most of the comments and messages, I’m guessing that the majority of people responding are men. I’m guessing, and sincerely hoping, that it’s mostly young men. I shared my opinion as a woman that seeing people talk about women’s bodies online has been othering. No one wanted to engage with that, much less hear it, and that’s their and your prerogative, but I commented it because I felt someone should say something. Every response I have received has basically solidified that sentiment. People need to speak up because if not then you end up at a place where “progressives” see explicit sexual harassment as a fun retort to a woman expressing an opinion they don’t like online. A somewhat low stakes opinion too, if I may add. I don’t think I’m the first person to suggest not to make comments about other people’s appearance, and it’s not like I suggested slaughtering puppies. I just said I don’t like when X and a lot of people seem to have taken that quite personally. To the extent they needed to comment “defending” their right to do that. I just wanted to shed some insight into my perspective. If you disagree or aren’t interested in it, that’s fine. You can downvote or block or send hate. Do what you need to do. I just hope I got at least one person to do some self reflection, even if their takeaway really was that I’m “off base.”

chronically online

Love it. There’s a new one to use.

I did not suggest that saying pregnancy changes someone physically is any of those things. In fact, I’m not even sure that’s what the commenter was even suggesting. I did say that people should stop talking about other peoples bodies, I specified women, but it’s true generally. Women’s bodies are particularly objectified, and I can’t imagine most women want their coworkers thinking about or talking about their chest at all, postpartum or otherwise.

If someone started talking to me irl about their colleagues chest I would give them a weird look and not engage in the conversation. I don’t know why talking about it online should make it more acceptable.

Also, suggesting someone is chronically online or needs professional help because they are calling out this sort of thing is really not productive. If you disagree and think it’s ok for people to talk about others bodies, that’s your prerogative, but we just have different visions of the society we want to live in. I specifically mentioned that I did not believe they meant it maliciously. There is just a background level societal allowance for this that I think we should do better to work against.

I appreciate the non combative tone of your comment, and seemingly good faith engagement.

I do agree that it’s ok and normal to make fun of bodies. I just think we should generally keep that related to our own bodies and our own experiences though, and I believe I indicated as much in my original comment.

If this was “I wish I had this when I returned to the office after giving birth” that would not be a problem at all in my opinion. My issue is the normalization of talking about others bodies. In this example it feels particularly unneeded as it is related to a somewhat intimate situation.

Obviously people are welcome to disagree with where the line should be drawn, but I think these comments should generally stop where your personal body does.

Can you explain what specifically is making you suggest this?

Someone made a comment about their postpartum coworker. I expressed my personal position that we should not be talking about other people’s bodies and that there is an undercurrent of sexism online. I never suggested they were personally sexist.

Are you suggesting that there is no undercurrent of sexism online? Are you stating you support talking about random women’s bodies to strangers?

So many women talk about how the internet and Lemmy specifically are hostile to them. I knew when I posted that it would not be the majority sentiment, and I expected downvotes. I’m surprised that people are openly attaching their username to comments suggesting that the act of expressing my opinion is the problem.

It really feels like your suggestion boils down to “I’m not made uncomfortable by this so you should leave because your opinion doesn’t belong here”.

Plenty of things were once considered funny jokes that we now recognize as harmful. Your personal opinion on the humor of their comment is not an actual response to my critique. You don’t need to to do any introspection on my account, but if your reaction to someone saying something is harmful is to defend it by calling it a joke then I would hope you do some introspection on your own account. You don’t have to agree with me, but you’re not really providing a considered response.