There are some decent comments here overall with stuff I bet would help you. But it sounds to me like you have lost the appreciation and rewards from life and the world around you. I would wonder if you have undiagnosed anxiety.

This isn’t going to sound great probably, but the problem isn’t the world around you, it’s just you. The good news, ‘you’ is the only part of this you can fix. The rest, totally outside of your control.

You need to retrain your brain. Slow down to appreciate the smaller things. Even the tiniest things. Read up on the raisin technique. I think raisins are kind of dumb, but apply it to everyday things. Go slow. Examine. Savor. Eat slowly. And with each bite think of the process that got that very thing into your mouth. From growing the ingredients, raising, milking, whatever. The process and storage, maybe inspection, transporting it to the store, you buying it and cooking it. The skill it took to do that and the history of you cooking to get there. It’s an awful lot packed into each bite. Do that with as many bites as you can. Be mindful. Repeat it. You don’t need a different thought every time. Just keep thinking it through. And apply that to more things throughout your day as you’re able to. It’s not an overnight process but it’s much faster than you might think to regain the value, passion for things. Do this people as well. Forgo the NPC thoughts, and delve in. How they got to be who they are. Ask questions over time and build a mental roadmap.

That’s pretty much it. I could have easily written your post word for word a decade ago. With therapy and general learning, fighting anhedonia was a process. And still is. But I do appreciate things and I look forward to things. I often look forward the most to me not being me tomorrow but a slightly better version of me.

That’s what I use. It goes under the radar a lot and I don’t know why. I love that it shows me my sabnzb downloads and what streams are happening on Jellyfin at a glance.

Huey Lewis and No Noise…

I’m going to special hell, I know.

Exactly. He doesn’t have much to lose it doesn’t seem.

She sounds overqualified for the position.

It’s very risky for Zelensky because there’s no good faith in any Trump deal. But, Zelensky really is playing it as smart as he can given the unstable governments he’s being forced to work with and against. He can give the moon to Trump in a string of further offers and promises and bank on either America coming to its senses or something reasonable happening in the future at which point he can renegotiate. He just needs to keep surviving and keeping Russia at bay.

Once the elves left the property values went to shit.

$6.50/dozen for the regular eggs. Surprisingly, only $10/dozen for free range 18pack. This is in Idaho at Albertsons (not the cheapest but not a high end grocery store)

They “can’t” but they constantly do with no repercussions or backlash.

I have had the opposite experience. I watch a few left-leaning commentary channels. Sam Seder, my boy Jesse Dollomore. If I watch a single video about guns (with no apparent ideological divide), within a single refresh I’m getting Shapiro and Jordan Peterson videos. I’m in a red Western state. My subscriptions are mostly mental health, tech, and woodworking. I have to delete history if I stray even a little bit.

No, you see, it’s like how the Southern slave owners loved black people. That must be why they owned so many of them. Because of their deep concern and appreciation. They gave them their own quarters and later their own restrooms and drinking fountains.

I have proximity unlock and my car is parked (at home) just close enough to my catch-all tray where I store my keys to constantly lock and unlock. It usually teeters on lock/unlock so closely that a person walking between the two will trigger it. So, to prevent a dead battery or stolen car, I keep my fob in a faraday bag.

My preference is just Cloudflare with or without nginx. Not sure if you’re using a hypervisor or not but it makes things exceedingly easy and I feel plenty safe enough inside of a Cloudflare tunnel. I stream a lot of data from Jellyfin. All day long, several streams to several people for over a year now with no problems. Last I knew, Cloudflare removed the language about video streaming from their TOS. Not sure if that’s changed but functionality on my end hasn’t.

I am using Unraid but I’ve installed the Cloudflare tunnel in docker containers and TrueNAS without many issues. Takes a bit of copying/pasting to get set up but it’s not terrible and everything is very responsive to make sure you’re doing things correctly.

I’ve seen it twice. In two people who are prone and had some mental instability issues. I am almost certain a mentally healthy person would never have any kind of an issue.

I’m not a doctor or scientist, but here is what I saw and what I believe happened.

Their mental health decline caused them to increase their intake by a decent amount. I think untreated, they would have had the same outcome in less than a year. But the weed sped things up a great deal. What should have taken months happened in just a couple/few weeks. One of them ended up standing on top of a police SUV downtown after giving away pretty much everything he had to homeless people. Including his wallet with his ID, social security card and debit/credit cards. It was the safest and quickest way to get him help so it ended up being a good thing. I tried everything I could in the days before that. Delusions of grandeur, constant tinfoil hat shit, thought he was being directly targeted by the government alphabet agencies because of what he knew.

They’re both fine now. But I do believe the increased potency in modern weed negates many previous studies on the effects it can have. I’m not against it in the least. But definitely more wary.

California is on fire. Enjoy your avocados while you can (admittedly, the fire I don’t think is near any avocado farms, but we’ll see)

When you’re a complete idiot who doesn’t know how anything actually works and you have no scruples, of course you’re not ruling anything out. The media is playing the same game of treating this narcissistic moron like a thinking human and we’re here buying the headlines.

And that’s fine. Totally fine. I wouldn’t use judgemental words or words with a negative connotation to describe their lack of storage because I feel that’s an absolutely fine stance to have.

You keep saying “hoarding” but I think you mean collecting/protecting in many cases.

I’m really sorry you’re experiencing all this. It has to be scary. I’ve not gone through this myself but a long time partner of mine went through something similar a good few times until she found the right combination of meds. I don’t know where you’re at, but no matter where you are will likely start at the ER. Do your best to tell them what you’re experiencing. If you’re in the US, they will likely take you to a mental health center for a three day stay. They will put you on some meds to stabilize your brain enough to figure out exactly what you need. And you will get some relief from these symptoms. It’s not a permanent state that you’re in. There’s help for this.

I’m picking up some pretty fatalistic language in your post, which I can understand. But please contact someone to help you with this. Support lines do a ton of good. You don’t have to go through this alone. People will help. You can always reach out here or to me directly and I’ll do what I can to help.

It sounds like you’re not okay. Do you have plans to get help for this? Do you need help?