Must suck to be a such freak of nature that even God turns his head from them.

Ah! Thought it was Jack Handey.

“I hope, when they die, cartoon characters have to answer for their sins.”

Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts

Wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross.

I’m the guy who ditched his IT career to work at Lowe’s. Been going pretty well, except for the pay of course. Only been a month and the GM and a couple of AGMs are noticing me, giving me better/different work.

Seems I’m not getting so many evening hours, that’s my main complaint. This spring I bet I can go full daytime hours.

Being part-time allows me to pursue some woodworking projects I hope to make money on, and the 10% employee discount doesn’t hurt!

That was a Floridian that got loose. Sorry!

I’d be shooting dust within an hour.

If you woke up tomorrow and had full rights to the name Coca Cola™, would that not be of extreme value to you? Of course it doesn’t have the intrinsic value of a gold brick, but it’s still valuable and stock fluctuations won’t change that fact.

Discworld brainwashed me on camels. Every time I see one I now wonder what math is going through it’s head.

“The fact is that camels are far more intelligent than dolphins. They are so much brighter that they soon realized that the most prudent thing any intelligent animal can do, if it would prefer its descendants not to spend a lot of time on a slab with electrodes clamped to their brains or sticking mines on the bottom of ships or being patronized rigid by zoologists, is to make bloody certain humans don’t find out about it. So they long ago plumped for a lifestyle that, in return for a certain amount of porterage and being prodded with sticks, allowed them adequate food and grooming and the chance to spit in a human’s eye and get away with it.”

“Lack of fingers was another big spur to the development of camel intellect. Human mathematical development had always been held back by everyone’s instinctive tendency, when faced with something really complex in the way of triform polynomials or parametric differentials, to count fingers. Camels started from the word go by counting numbers.”

While Vicious Brute, Bloody Stupid, and Evil-Smelling-Bugger stand around stinking, spitting and otherwise looking stupid:

“You Bastard was thinking: there seems to be some growing dimensional instability here, swinging from zero to nearly forty-five degrees by the look of it. How interesting. I wonder what’s causing it? Let V equal 3. Let Tau equal Chi/4. cudcudcud Let Kappa/y be an Evil-Smelling-Bugger (* Renowned as the greatest camel mathematician of all time, who invented a math of eight-dimensional space while lying down with his nostrils closed in a violent sandstorm.) differential tensor domain with four imaginary spin co-efficients. . .”

― Terry Pratchett, Pyramids

I regret the decades I missed out on reading Discworld. I’m through it twice and I’ll never catch all the jokes and references. Some say 5 readings gets you close. Those novels are the funniest, hardest hitting, most genius fiction I’ve ever read. Laughed, cried, “better than Cats”, all that. Do not sleep on these books! (Ignore all the suggested reading order crap and simply start with #1.)

OP’s riffing a joke off Stack Overflow’s tendency to kill duplicate posts.

You’ll like this!

Can You Say Why America is the Greatest Country in the World?

Should be required viewing for all Americans.

Much stock value is artificial, but these companies still have infrastructure, brands and products.

Meh, party true. Say Coca Cola’s stock goes down, they still own the infrastructure, the products and the brand. In other words, they have real value that didn’t go poof just because their stocks went down.

Much of what we see is bullshit, because bullshit makes headlines. Tesla is a perfect example. This crowd hardly needs a review, but suffice to say that while Tesla has value, it’s tanking fast and the stock price will eventually pop and drop to that far, far lower value.

Microsoft may fuck up production operating systems, but their Excel product does not fail or change. Not. Ever. Excel is arguably their most rock-solid product.

Why the hell else would the entire planet not change over to FOSS office applications?! Hell, we ran Google for Business at my last job, still had to provide Excel to accounting.

Yeah, cats are a poor example, perhaps the poorest. :) Rodents and rabbits might be better for your proof. They rarely, if ever, seem to smell much. But then again they’re prey, wouldn’t be too beneficial to stink out loud.

You should meet a wild pig. Pigs are actually clean animals, especially careful about their poop. But Heysus Christos, a wild pig do stink.

If we had a shred of evidence, corporations would be knocking themselves out trying to produce human pheromones. LOL, imagine a spray that makes you attractive.

“There’s no such thing as survival of the fittest. Survival of the most adequate, maybe. It doesn’t matter whether a solution’s optimal. All that matters is whether it beats the alternative.”

― Peter Watts, Blindsight

Another good one:

“Evolution has no foresight. Complex machinery develops its own agendas. Brains — cheat. Feedback loops evolve to promote stable heartbeats and then stumble upon the temptation of rhythm and music. The rush evoked by fractal imagery, the algorithms used for habitat selection, metastasize into art. Thrills that once had to be earned in increments of fitness can now be had from pointless introspection. Aesthetics rise unbidden from a trillion dopamine receptors, and the system moves beyond modeling the organism. It begins to model the very process of modeling. It consumes evermore computational resources, bogs itself down with endless recursion and irrelevant simulations. Like the parasitic DNA that accretes in every natural genome, it persists and proliferates and produces nothing but itself. Metaprocesses bloom like cancer, and awaken, and call themselves I.”

― Peter Watts, Blindsight

can replace everything that msoffice does

Not Excel. There are billions and billions of man hours in the world’s Excel sheets. LOL, some places use it as a database.

And the real fear is, what if an Excel replacement seems to work, but jacks your numbers up and you can’t tell? Remember when the first Pentium would fail at certain math tasks and people shit bricks? Trust is the issue.

Typical gator around here is 4-6". Being that they won’t attack anything larger than them, no worries, especially in a kayak or canoe.

If I saw that motherfucker cruising the swamp, I’d be near panic. Even with a trolling motor on the canoe, I can’t move faster than that animal.

Inches from eyes to snout ~= feet in length. That dude has to be 15’, and I’m being conservative.

Here’s what I would tell someone that thinks manufacturing is coming back.

Say you’re a factory owner and goods are costing too much to import from China. Your trusty Excel sheet tells you that, with the tariffs, you can make your widgets for the same price in America.

But you’re a smart capitalist! You know these tariffs are going to end up wildly unpopular and will be rescinded sooner rather than later. In any case, the economy may tank and no one will be able to afford widgets.

Yet another problem is that tariffs will make American widgets toxic on the international market. Canadians are already looking to shed American imports.

Now are you, Mr. Smart Capitalist, going to risk building an American factory and get left holding the bag?

Alternate:

“Know what the Smoot-Hawley Tariff Act was?”

LOL! I came across women saying, “no dead animal pics”.