In an alternate timeline:
“Yea who’s the fuck is Hitler? Himmler is the fuhrer of our fatherland, the Great German Reich, that spans the entire world!”
What if Hitler was the best case scenario result of time traveler interference? He bungled a lot of decisions someone like Himmler probably wouldn’t have. What if WWII is ultimately unavoidable, and every other timeline was way worse?
Maybe Hitler is actually a time traveller that pretends to be a nazi because from his timeline, the german fascist took over the world was way worse so he had to join the nazis to defeat the nazis? Maybe the Holocaust was like 10 times worse in his timeline and he intentionally did stupid decisions to reduce the kill count.
Best case?
Literally the start of Command and Conquer Red Alert lol
If you think about it, there are on average 30 to 80 million sperm in a typical ejaculation. So I’d find Hitler’s dad on the street, bump into him and jiggle his nuts a bit. Surely that’d be enough to change history.
Ye old scrotal quantum shake
Twist his dick!!!
So naive… your bump was precisely necessary for the single unlikely Adolph sperm to make its way to the front of the line. You were always the nut-bumper that caused Hitler.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooo
Because it is a thought experiment about punishing people for pre-crime, not people actually planning what to do with a time machine.
Plot point: hero person goes back in time to kill Hitler, but finds they have to fight off a bunch of other time travelers from different points in the future bc everyone wants the kill for themselves. Hitler still gets away.
Alternative plot point: The hero/es keep traveling back in time because everytime they kill a potential Nazi leader, someone worse ends up taking its place. We are left with the timeline where Hitler eventually takes that spot because it’s considered the “best”/“least destructive” timeline.
yeah that takes the cake haha
In Legends of Tomorrow, there’s a secret bar for time travellers that want to save Franz Ferdinand. You pull a number and wait your turn like at the DMV.
I would watch that.
“Fuck hitler’s mom”
Yeah that sounds like the setup to a bootstrap paradox in which you were always hitler’s dad.
Get a vasectomy, then start the relationship.
Ah, yes, the “release a bunch of infertile male mosquitoes so the females won’t have any babies” approach to Hitler-offing.
Adopt baby Hitler and raise him in a way that would not give rise to the kinds of feelings and ideologies that could lead him down the path of ethno-nationalsim.
That’s when we figure out that this is the path that lead him to flip flop completely hating everything you taught. You went back to stop Hitler only to be the thing that caused his reign of terror. Life would have that kind of irony.
Oh shit my phone doesn’t work back here. I know I’ll send him to art school!
Just finished binging the 12 Monkeys TV show, thats just variations on an oops loop. If you seduce Hitlers mom you’ll just end up being the father figure he never met. If you strand him in Nepal then either Hitler or any Austrian who witnesses you doing the timey-wimey dance will just blame an international cabal of time traveling Jews for it.
🎶 Hitler’s mom has got it going on 🎶
Sounds like the plot of Terminator, but told wrong.
Speaking of plots told wrong, I found this collection of gems while looking for someone doing it with Terminator 😁
Ahahah, excellent! 😂
And why just Hitler? If we could time travel I’d assume he’d have plenty going after him
Based on what’s happening in the US it’d have been a good idea to sink the puritan ships
Look time travel is just one big series of accidents until you just wish Schopenhauer was dead
The day I find out I’m Hitlers father and my own grandfather…
You did do the nasty in the pasty
shoots
Ah u meant as in sex…
Pulls up corpse
Starting a relationship with Hitlers mom will eventually end in heartbreak when she dies from breast cancer after several painful experimental treatments. I’d rather kill a baby.
Such is the nature of time travel that you go back in time to seduce and fuck Hitler’s mom and guess what?
Your son is Adolf Hitler.
No one ever considers that this is the best timeline possible and we got Hitler because someone already time shivved the SUPER NAZIS and SUPER HITLER
Mecha-Hitler wasn’t just some artist’s drawing for Wolfenstein, it’s a remnant of another timeline where there’s fuckin robot Nazis all over
