Not being kind to people in the service industry.
lack of curiosity
That’s a big one. Also lack of hobbies or passions.
This is exactly what tanked a potential relationship for me a few years ago.
Being “vetted” by them…
Maybe you don’t like the wording, but everyone does this. Unless you know if someone will be a close friend the moment you lay eyes on them, or are friends with literally everyone you’ve spent time with.
deleted by creator
Then it’s unconscious. Hopefully the criteria are ones you’d agree with if they were conscious.
For real this seems like a major red flag.
Do people really do that? I just kind of meet people and whatever happens happens.
Right?
That they vetted me
deleted by creator
- Belief in nonsense, such as astrology
- Celebrity worship
- Excessive social media usage, especially Twitter
you’re on lemmy
What about excessive lemmy usage?
That would be really weird. There’s not enough content for excessive Lemmy usage.
You can get into long settings on any social media site
If they are cheap/stingy but when someone else is paying they get the more expensive things. If someone is consistently frugal in all situations I don’t mind.
deleted by creator
You’re right, if someone was expensing it on a work account it would make sense to maximize your order within budget. What I mean by someone else is any situation outside of that.
Who are these people who have so many choices in friends that they can afford to vet them?
Its not so much having friends to vet them.
its meeting new people that seem, for all intents and purposes, cool and mellow people.
Then you make the mistake of sending them an off-platform friend request and are quickly brought to realization that the only thing keeping them cool and mellow was the platforms rules and reporting.
I got duped like that once in a game, Kept running into eachother and playing together, so sent them an out of game friend request… Immediately received a massive tirade about what they really thought about trans people, and gays, and other various topics. 100% unprompted, and out of the blue 0-100 in .00237 second.
The only reason I didnt immediately block them was because I was too stupified and took me a solid minute to gather myself. Ended up having to block them in game, too… Which I think resulted in them being banned, since they sent me a huge message in game about i must be one of those liberal trans homosexuals since i blocked him after his “truth” or whatever bullshit. Reported his ass, and never saw him again.
Crazy is super good at concealing itself, until it thinks you are a compatriot.
Someone who identifies very closely with hustle & grind culture. Someone who claims a personal brand. Someone who kisses up and kicks down.
Anyone who dislikes animals.
Doesn’t speak a language I know.
You’re only friends with people who can speak the same multiple languages or someone who speaks the only language you know?
“A” language, not “all” languages. The point being I can’t see how to become close friends without being able to talk to them.
Exactly which is why I asked for clarification. Your wording can be read as “I speak English and French but this guy speaks English and Spanish so I won’t get to know them because they don’t know a language that I do”
That would be silly 🙃
How they treat people who disagree with them politically. If they immediately hate/cut off people for political disagreements, we’re not going to be friends any deeper than surface level.
Depends on the disagreement… if the topic under discussion is as inflammatory as abortion or trans rights, I’m sure you can understand why some folks can’t agree to disagree.
Not agreeing to disagree isn’t the same as cutting someone off from your life, even for those issues. There are multiple issues within those issues that are extreme. For example, I’m pro-choice, but the cutoff for me is probably around the 24 week mark. Pushing for more than that, to me, is extreme, unless we’re talking outlier situations, which would go on a case-by-case basis.
Based on that, many people who are extreme in their belief would certainly cut me out of their life for not supporting late-term abortion.
This all-or-nothing approach is just irrational. It’s not a good match friendship-wise.
Eh it depends on how wrong they are. Perpetuating hate speech? I’m going to cut you off and tell you that you are wrong. Actual politics though, I’ll have a conversation.
What if they hate/cut off fascists though?
I know a lot of people who are close friends with BJP fans and I always thought that was fucking weird
It depends on who you view as facist. If you think anyone conservative is facist, we’re not going to be close friends. I’m not a conservative, but I am rational, so I understand the idea that all conservatives are facist is an extreme view, and actually a pretty facist way of thinking in itself.
I’m not sure who BJP is, do you mean Jordan Peterson (JBP, I think are his initials)? If so, we don’t agree on what a facist is, and yeah, if you’re someone who views people through such an extreme lense, we’re just not a good friend match.
What if they call anyone who disagrees with their ideology a fascist? Then they’re just a bully.
If they’re boring, then we can’t hang
If they talk bad about other people, especially if you don’t know the would-be friend very well. If they’ll bad mouth other people to you they’re gonna bad mouth you to other people.
Inability to follow instructions. Lack of problem solving skills. No common sense.
