• insanemantis@lemmy.world
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      6 hours ago

      When you’re too high to even realize that the words are in that order, so you just say “Hi, I’m doing pretty good! How about you?”

  • gastroglizzy@piefed.social
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    13 hours ago

    “You had to have been doing at least a hundred to catch me. Don’t you know that’s dangerous?”

    “That was fun! Wanna go again?”

    “Don’t you know I have places to be? Now, are you finished or are you done?”

  • shalafi@lemmy.world
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    11 hours ago

    “Don’t be a hero.”

    JFC, how to get shot in less than 5 seconds. I love it.

    For best effect, hold your right arm perpendicular to the car door, hand out of sight. Look 'em right in the eye and deadpan the delivery.

  • finallymadeanaccount@lemmy.world
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    12 hours ago

    I recall an Insane Clown Posse skit/track where the officer asks Shaggy2Dope something like, “And where are we going today in such a hurry?”

    And Shaggy replied, “Up your Ma’s ass”.

    Which I thought was somewhat amusing, given police pulling people over would only ever receive polite responses from drivers.