Character called Mr. Farts that deals 1500 damage per turn by fart 3.
Special skill: bag of holding with infinite cabbage and bean stew supply.
Bag of farting
Prison wallet of holding
Why adventure when you can be a mule?
I’m sworn to carry your burdens
MFW ex quipped that out in that moment when my mind was fumbling to think of complex math problems, baseball commentary, “Margaret Thatcher on a cold day”, etc. for their benefit. 😶
Oh, the sparkle in their eyes was certainly telling, but I’m not sure if they expected it to work quite so well, or so immediately.
FAFO, I guess? 🤣
Genuine GenV character
Those are, in fact, perfectly sensible guidelines.
“So this is my character. Her name is Armpits Esquire and she’s three halfling paladin brothers from a dead order in a trenchcoat. Because of their stacking auras, they are nearly- no, you can continue loading, it gets worse.”
Okay but Armpits Esquire has the kind of whimsy I love best.
Way better as an npc. There is no man straight enough to straighten out a campaign with daily Armpits Esquire. She’s the cherry on the top of the cherry on top of the cherry on top of the sundae
So professor burp is still on the table?
Nurse Practitioner Patricia P. Poopu is fine too I bet.
The dookomancer Dia Rhea.
(She makes the fart golems that raised OPs Dr. Fart by virtue of her skill in the fine arts of dookomancy)
Edit: Guess what’s in her spellcasting component pouch. HINT: Rhymes with cookie. Now let me tell you about her spellcasting focus! It’s encrusted with magically imbued partially digested corn…
That GM definitely has some stories
The second one sort of depends on the player. I’ve had a few players that have made absolutely ridiculous characters but played them very well and it was a good experience.
The first one is a strong no. I’ve never seen anyone who does a broken meta build do anything beyond ruin everyone’s time and complain (or quit) if the DM reins them in at all.
I was once in a game where the GM allowed his buddy to be a build like that, but in a nifty “hidden origins” way, where the PC slowly realises their own immense power, but is super clumsy with it, so they’re an active danger to the party but you also can’t just leave them at an inn because they can potentially destroy the world if they have a nightmare…
Then he got turned into the campaign’s secret big bad that was only revealed at the very end. THAT worked out well. Turned out he could control his powers and just used us to get rid of his also evil archnemesis of his before attacking the party.
That sounds like an epic DM/experience!
By chance, was the campaign setting based off a non-dnd fantasy novel? If so, I might’ve been your DM :)
Nope, it was based on one of the, I think, 3.5 one shots?
In half the campaigns, the Doctor Farts PC ends up being the MVP because they weren’t minmaxed and as a result have much more utility.
Doctor Farts: “I cast Stinking Cloud, again.”
Party: sigh
Doctor Farts: ooo! i leveled up and got cloudkill!
The second one sort of depends on the player. I’ve had a few players that have made absolutely ridiculous characters but played them very well and it was a good experience.
You mean like the Legend of Poop McDinglefart?
The first one works in a campaign that expects everyone to do the first one (and where the GM does the same for the enemies). Assuming the character is still a character when looking beyond the stats, that is.
I’m into more listening to game. I’ve never actually laid one.
Wouldn’t what you’re describing be pretty pointless. Like super inflation. Okay you’re a millionaire but bread is 1000 so does it really matter?
A game where every character is doing 1500… how is that different from every character doing 15 damage gameplay wise? You can add as many zeros as you want but if we all have those extra zeros isn’t it essentially the same?
But I worked so hard on writing up the flatumancer subclass!
It is a very strong class when you have a fire mage in your team
So…Doctor Farts can do 1500 damage per turn by level 3.
Nah. Doctor Fart can do 1499 damage per turn by level 4.
Someone found the middle ground between the extremes
Dear DMs: if you take yourself too seriously, I will murder you.
What are you going to do, fart on them?
give them stage 3 pink eye
Do you think the people who make Dr Farts want to play with other people who make Dr Farts type characters? And the people who make 1500 dmg/turn combat monsters, do they want to play with other combat monsters?
I feel like sometimes no. Sometimes people want to be the odd one out. Which sucks, because a group that’s homogeneous on this aspect I think can work pretty well. If everyone’s a combat monster the GM can go crazy. But if there’s just one or two combat monsters, now they have to figure out how to keep it fun for them and also Bob The Fighter that hits for 1d8+2 each turn.
In my experience, dr farts is the result of an overabundance of options and lack of foresight. They don’t know what it’d be like, so they try it. Giving players a silly character swap voucher, good for just one session per campaign, solves that. Similar deal for the overjuiced character. (Not usable during story boss encounters)
Once people recognize that the boundaries are there to improve their experience, not detract from it, they usually follow the flow of the game and build on others’ characters. If they don’t, chairs are easy to fill.
Somewhat similarly, as a character with a good variety of options available in combat, I worry somewhat about the Ranger and Warlock I play with whose turns are pretty much always “I shoot the [x]”, but everyone seems to be having a good time so I guess combat gameplay isn’t really their bag, idk.
Rogue is worse. I played a rogue for a while and it didn’t really deliver a great experience. Every combat was “I shoot, move, cunning action hide”.
Scouting was largely outclassed by the wizard’s familiar, and even more so the pact of the chain familiar. Splitting the party is tedious and risky.
One GM tried to make a system to abstract scouting- you’d make some checks and get information and maybe trouble. But that guy liked PbtA way more than me, and it clearly influenced his design, because pretty much every time you used this system something bad would happen. I don’t play these games to be a fuck up. I want to be exceedingly competent in my niche.
I guess some of that is up to individual GM style, but I think some of it is on the system itself.
If you’re playing d&d for the combat alone, you’re doing it wrong
If you’re playing D&D for not-the-combat you’re doing it wrong, basically every other RPG system handles that better
I’ve had a lot of DND players, often people that exclusively play DND, tell me they like it that way. They like that there’s basically no rules for conflict outside of combat. “Just talk it out” and “we’re here to role play stop looking at your sheet”.
Personally, not my taste. If we’re just going to “talk it out” I feel like we should write a book instead. That or actually rip out the stunted social rules in DND. That would help the annoying thing where the real life Sales Guy brings his whole personality into his 8 Cha Fighter.
But I also think a lot of those people have never really played anything else, and like dnd’s “barely any rules” better than whatever fantasy they’re imagining.
I like that games with working social rules can let someone who’s shy or quiet play someone socially powerful, just like a physically weak person can play a strong barbarian.
The people who want to do 1500 dmg/turn probably want to be playing 3.5
You just need access to “Suggestion” spell for easy win on so many situations the DM will start raging real soon.
That said, can I be a dragon, then?
My dm never let me play as a terrasque
I would let you, but only as a lawful good peace cleric
Suggestion can be twinned if need be
Unless your DM is a stickler for the updated 2024 rules, then in that case it can’t, because they changed Twinned Spell to require that the spell let you target additional creatures when cast at higher levels, which Suggestion does not.
If anyone wants to do a dr. Farts style campaign let me know. I would love to ref a zany to the max campaign. Be warned that dr. Farts may have to contend with the likes of Detective Vague.
Wait, the DM wants them to choose between the “two extremes” of “I will murder you” and “I will murder you”?
Must be AD&D/2.0, NGL.
Thinking about my 3.5 gestalted murder hobo days
To be fair, if the DM allows Gestalt, they deserve whatever you throw at them.
And you’d better expect them to throw the Gygax book atcha, in turn…
