• apprehensivecrab1@lemmy.world
    1·
    18 days ago

    Volunteer work is an amazing way to break cycles of isolation and loneliness. You have a shared common goal with other volunteers and you are making a collective effort to improve the lives of those less fortunate than you. Even if you walk away without having met the love of your life or whatever, at least you can feel good knowing that you helped make the world a better place and got to meet some cool, likeminded people.

  • shalafi@lemmy.worldEnglish
    1·
    18 days ago

    I got over my fear of talking to pretty girls sometime around my junior year of high school. Having overheard lots of conversations, and from talking to my female* friend across the street, I realized that girls are more like us than not. For example, get 'em talking about sex among themselves and they nasty.

    So I decided I would approach girls same as I would a male peer and damn did that work! I could write an essay, but pretty girls are so used to ass kissing that treating them like one of the guys, ya know, normal, grabs their attention. Ass kissers don’t present any sort of challenge, they’re boring as paste. Don’t be afraid to rib and tease a bit! This is where the idiot notion of “negging” comes from, started as normal flirting, went way too fucking far.

    Going to stop now before I end up with the aforementioned essay.

    * Going to be drug out and shot as an incel, but she was neither a woman nor a girlfriend. “Neighbor girl who was a friend but not my girlfriend” is a mouthful.

    • Tar_Alcaran@sh.itjust.works
      1·
      18 days ago

      So I decided I would approach girls same as I would a male peer and damn did that work!

      Turns out the big secret to meeting people of the other gender is to focus on the “people” part.

  • javasux@lemmy.worldEnglish
    1·
    18 days ago

    How do you convince yourself that 27 vs 30 is a difference that matters in any way

    • NOT_RICK@lemmy.worldEnglish
      1·
      18 days ago

      Yeah that’s crazy to think people in your HS cohort are too far in age to you to relate

    • OctopusNemeses@lemmy.worldEnglish
      1·
      18 days ago

      30 is the narrative online where you’re pretty much 100 years old. They’re convinced once you hit 30 you might as well be her grandpa. The manosphere propaganda feeds off ageism insecurity.

    • cynar@lemmy.worldEnglish
      1·
      18 days ago

      One of the biggest problems is that, outside of early school, there’s no real way to practice social interactions in a safe setting. The only real option is jumping straight in. If you’re already slightly socially stunted, it can be very easy to mess it up. It only takes a couple of negative reactions to put someone off for a long time.

      I almost fell into the same hole when I was younger. Thankfully I realised what was likely happening and worked on it. I’m still not good at cold approach social interactions, but I can at least now do it without screwing up catastrophically.